When Purple Monkeys Attack: YYH Style!
by Kiheada.Ray.T
Summary: A random fic that you have to be insane to read, because that is what I am Insane. Funny stuff happens and there's not much of a plot except complete randomness, all who love randomness will appreciate this wondefully delicious fic! R&R, ideas welcome!
1. Chapter 1: Running around and yelling

**When Purple Monkeys Attack: YYH Style!**

**Disclaimer: me no own da Yu Yu gang! So sad too bad! I own Shinn and Dustin**

**Warning: This is full of randomness due to the fact that I'm extremely hyper and am eating various chocolate items, thus making this extremely long sentence the only sensible thing in this ENTIRE CHAPTER!!!! WOOT! HERE WE GO!**

* * *

So, I'm here sitting at my computer reading some Yu Yu fics, and all of a sudden, THE SWIRLY BLACK HOLE OF DOOM COMES AGAIN TO TAKE ME AWAY TO A PLACE I DON'T KNOW YET!!! (For those of you scratching your heads wondering if this is a sequel, it's not, I just wrote an extremely random fic like this in the Gundam Seed universe)

So I'm sucked into the swirly black hole of DOOM and I see clocks, chickens, potatoes, pina coladas, and rainbows. Then I start to do flips because there's no gravity which is sweet, but then I suddenly fall down and land on my butt.

"OWIE!" I yell and look around. "Oooooo, ahhhh!" I say because I see a bunch of trees, some pretty butterflies, some pretty flowers, Hiei, some birds of various sizes and colors; wait, Hiei!?

My jaw dropped open and my eyes flew wide as I stared at Hiei who was staring at me. He was the first to recover, however, and raised an eyebrow. "Um, who are you and how did you get here?" he asked.

I shook my head and said, "Um, uh," and then I gasped. "I DON'T KNOW MY NAME ANYMORE!!! AHHHHH!!!!" I scream and start flailing about. Hiei looks at me weirdly and calls Kurama.

"Woah! Calm down! Are you ok?" Kurama asks me. I gasp again. "Kurama? SWEET! I'M IN THE YU YU HAKUSHO DIMENSION THIS TIME!!! WOOT WOOT!" I yell and they look at each other weirdly.

"Um, who are you and where did you come from?" Kurama asked me more gently this time. "I remember now! My name is Niki a.k.a Jak Attack and I'm from America, home of the Lame." (Sorry peeps but I'm a hater of the U.S.A even though I live here and don't wanna move to another country although Canada is pretty cool….hmmmmm…..)

"I see, so how did you get here?" Kurama asked again. "A swirly black hole of DOOM! I dunno how that thing works, but at least I didn't get hit with a candle this time!" I say. "Psycho!" Hiei coughs behind us and Kurama sweat drops.

* * *

"I'M NOT INSANE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!! I DON'T LIKE WHITE!! NOOOOO!!!" I scream as Kurama and Hiei drag me to the Mental Institute. "Argh! Make it shut up!" Hiei yells to Kurama. "I can't!" Kurama yells back.

"I'M NOT CRAZY!!! I HAVE ADHD!!!" I scream again and then wiggle out of their hold (I can get out of any hold, just give me time) and run away from the huge white building.

"WAHAHA!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME ALIVE!! WOOOHOOO!! HOME FREEEE!!!!" I yell as I run at full speed (which is as fast as Hiei-kun I might add) towards the trees.

Hiei growls and runs after me and we are racing together when all of a sudden, _BAM!_ I hit a tree…

* * *

I wake up not in the mental institute (luckily), but in Genkai's temple. "Aha! She's awake!" someone (I think it was Kuwabaka) said and I saw a bunch of oddly familiar faces look at him from above. I try to get up but can't move, I look at my wrists and see that I'm chained to the bed thing they laid me on. This wasn't good.

"AHHH!!! GET THEM OFF OF ME!! NOOOO! I DON'T WANNA GET RAPED!!! AHHHHHH!!!" I start to scream because I have a fear of handcuffs and getting raped. Everyone started freaking out because I was freaking out and Yusuke ended up wrestling me out of the bed as I scrambled to the closest person I could get my hands on and hugged them tightly…which was (lucky me, he he he) Hiei!

He tried to pull me off of him but I held on tightly, he even tried prying me off with his katana, and then a crowbar! Everyone else got a big sweat drop and started snickering (seriously, they all took out snickers because it was snack time).

Finally Hiei-kun gave up and I smiled with glee. _'He he he, I'm so bad.' _I thought. "Ahem." Genkai cleared her throat and glared at all of them. "Eep!" I squeaked (because I looked to see who it was) and hid my face in Hiei's shirt again while he growled.

"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Genkai asked. "POTATOES!" I scream and then start running around the room. Hiei breathes a sigh of relief because I finally let go of him to run around the room and then everyone tried to chase me down, but I escaped through the window and climbed up into a tree and then some birds came up and wanted and tried to peck at me because I was by their nest.

"Oh, you want some of this? Do ya? DO YA!?" I yell at them and put up my hands like I was a boxer. "Come on then!" I challenged and they squawked and flew away. "That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! You don't want none of this! Yaya! What then!?" I yell after them and then start making faces at them in my little tree.

Genkai shakes her head and throws her hands in the air before going back inside. Kuwabara, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama started playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who would come up and get me down.

I watched them and contemplated jumping down and playing Hide-n-Go-Seek but then I saw Kuwabara get angry. _'Grr, I wanted Hiei-kun to come up!' _I think and when Kuwabara starts to climb up I take some eggs and throw them at his face.

"EWW GET AWAY FROM ME BAKA!" I yell at him and Hiei smirks. "Grrr, just come down here and I won't have to hurt you!" Kuwa yelled up at me. "I thought you didn't fight girls!" I called down to him, this time throwing twigs and apples at him.

"You're not a girl; you're a crazy psycho shrimp!" Kuwabaka yelled up at me and then my eyes went black (as everything else) and I growled before running down the tree and jumping on him, bashing his head with my awesome metal baseball bat.

"PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY AND A BASEBALL BAT! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY AND A BASEBALL BAT!" the song goes from somewhere as I beat Kuwabaka to a pulp with my baseball bat.

He tries to stop me and protect himself but I hit him in the nuts, then in the face, and anywhere else I can get at before he screams, "UNCLE! MERCY! SOMEONE GET THIS CRAZY CHICK OFFA ME!!" and I laugh maniacally. "MUWAHAHAHA!!! TAKE THAT YOU BAKA NINGEN KITTY-LOVER PANSY FUGLY-ASS MOFO!!!" I scream after him as he runs inside and almost runs over Genkai.

Kurama, Hiei, and Yusuke are glancing at each other and backing away slowly as I came forward. "That was fun." I say and put my bat over my shoulder. "Hmm, now I'm bored…ENTERTAIN ME!" I yell at them.

"NIKI!!!!" I hear another familiar voice call to me and I see two people running towards me. I gasp. "SHINNI! DUSTIN!! MY HOME DAWG SKILLETS!" I call back and we all end up hugging each other somehow.

Meanwhile, the Yu Yu gang are looking at each other like "WTF!?" and still backing away slowly into the Temple.

"Hey, how'd you get here?" I ask them. "I dragged him here after I found out how to work the portal thing; I tried to get you to come to the Gundam Seed Destiny universe but the stupid thing messed up! So I followed you and brought one of your friends." Shinn replied.

"Yay!" I say and hug Dustin again who is also like "wtf?" "Um, ok then," he said and shrugged. Just then we heard the sliding door slam. I whirled around to see everyone hiding in the temple (I had x-ray vision).

"Hey! They locked us out! Those losers!" I say and cross my arms. "Oh well, while we're here; let's go create massive mayhem and destruction!" Shinn suggested looking crazy. "Ok!" I agree and we drag Dustin through the forest.

"Ooo sha-la-la, ooo ooo sha-la-la-la!" me and Shinn sang while we skipped through the filed of pretty daisies. "Ugh, these yellow monstrosities are making me sick! BURN THEM ALL! BURN THEM ALL TO HELL!!" I scream and take out a blowtorch.

"WOO!" Shinn yells and also takes out a blowtorch and we start running around burning all the flowers. Dustin shrugged and took out his own blowtorch and joined us, but since we were all pyromaniacs, we didn't stop at the daisies, oh no, we burned everything in sight!

The trees were set on fire (poor trees), the birds were set on fire, the monkeys were set on fire, the rocks were set on fire, the horses were set on fire, the drill sergeants were set on fire (along with their pimp leashes that were attached to their troops who also caught on fire), the cars were set on fire, a few people were set on fire, and one guy was running around in a circle waving madly because his pink hair caught on fire.

"Ooops," we said and looked at each other as a whole bunch of police drove up and pointed their guns at us. "IT WASN'T ME!" we all yelled and ran away from the fat po-pos who were mad because they were taken away from their donuts.

There was a fence to a large factory that had smoke coming out of it so we ran to it. "Look! It's the cloud machine! Yay! Let's hide in there and watch it make clouds!" I shouted to them and we hopped the 9 foot metal fence and ran towards the building. We looked back and saw all the fatties try to climb up the fence but ended up falling on each other and laughed.

However, we passed by the extremely large green sign that had a really big biohazard sign on it and said in big cold capitol letters: **WARNING: ACTIVE NUCLEAR POWER PLANT OVERFLOWING WITH RADIOACTIVE GREEN GOO! MUTANT CREATURES REVOLTING AND INOXICATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT! _RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THE MUTANT BRITISH ARE COMING!_**

And went straight to the building that had the same poster taped across the door that we ripped down. "Argh! It's locked and has some icky green goo on it!" I said and made a disgusted face. Dustin took out his blowtorch and set it on fire, and then we all kicked it down. "YAY TEAM!" I say and we all high-five and run inside.

"Hey Shinn," I ask after a moment. "What?" he asks and looks at me. "What's that?" I ask and point to a big green monster with one eye. "Well, it looks like a big green monster with one eye." He replied. "Ooo! I WANNA POKE IT!" I scream and run towards it.

It makes a weird sound that's supposed to resemble that of a growl as I poke it. "Ewwww, it's all icky!" I say and wipe it on Dustin's shirt. "Hey! Don't wipe it on me shirt! Wipe it on his shirt!" he says and I wipe it on Shinn's shirt. "Yay I'm green! I'm green if I was pink I would die! If I was pink, I would die! If I was pink I would die!" Shinn started singing and jumping around in a circle while the monster shook his head and walked away.

"No, it's I'm _blue _if I was pink I would die!" I corrected him. He stuck his tongue out at me and I stuck mine out at him and we started a funny face contest. "Hey, where'd Dust Storm go?" (That's actually his nickname) I asked after I got bored.

"Uhhh, let's ask that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle over there." Shinn said and pointed to one of those ninja turtle guys. "Hey, have you seen a guy that's really tall and has long brown hair to his shoulders?" I ask them.

"Uh, me no speak English." one of them replied. "But you just did." I said. "NOOOOOOO!!!!" he yelled and started swinging his numchucks at us and we run away. "That was weird." I say. "You're weird." Shinn says. "So, at least I can admit it!" I say and stick my tongue out again.

"Don't stick your tongue out unless you're gonna use it!" he chants. "Yeah Shinn you can put it away because there's no one you can give a blowjob to here." I say and his jaw drops as I laugh and suddenly bump into something.

He points to something behind me and I turn to see… HIEI IN HIS DEMON FORM! "AHHHHH!! IT'S THE GREEN MEANY!! RUN SHINN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!" I scream and we run away, but Hiei gets in front of us and pins Shinn down and Kurama ties me up in a rose whip thingy. "Owie! The thorns are poking me in places I shouldn't be poked in!" I yell and they drag us back to the Temple.

"Hey, what about Dusty Wusty-kins?!" I ask them. "I'm right here." Dustin suddenly appears beside us. "Oh, ok." I say and continue being dragged. So we get back to the temple and they tie us to some chairs (except Dustin, the lil cheater).

"Now, stay!" Hiei barked at us. "Dude, I'm not a dog." I say. "Yes you are, you're a female one!" Shinn says and grins while everyone else goes, "Ohhhhhh!!" I think about it for a minute. "Oh yeah! I _am_ a dog! Well so are you Mister Owned!" I retort and he sticks his tongue out at me.

"I told you to put that thing away! There's no one here who wants a blowjob except for Kuwabara and Yusuke but they're not gay!" I yell at him and he laughs as Kuwa and Yusuke blush and Hiei glares at Kuwa.

"Yes, well, I can change that." Shinn says and wiggles his eyebrows at Kuwabara and Yusuke who blush even more and back away. "Hey! I call dibs on the Detective!" Youko says out of no where (I got it from a fic). "Awww man, he's the smexy one!" Shinn cries and pouts.

"I know, that's why I call dibs, plus he's basically bisexual since all demons are bisexual." Youko says and winks at Yusuke and everyone stares at Hiei. "What? We are." He says and everyone faints except for me, Shinn, Dustin, and Youko.

"Ooo, I CALL HIEI!" Shinn yells. "NO! I CALL HIEI! MINE!" I yell back. "Not if I get to him firrrrst!" Shinn sings and tries to get out of the ropes that are cutting off the circulation to his hands. "Oh yeah!" I say and also struggle while Hiei, Youko and Dustin sweat drop. "Yeah!" Shinn says and starts gnawing on the ropes.

"What would Kiei-kun think?" I ask and he stops. "HE WON'T KNOW!!!" he yells and then we hear a really loud "SHINN! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" from the sky. Shinn sniffles and says, "Mommy," as he suddenly disappears.

We look at each other for a second and then I break free from the ropes. "WAHAHA! I TOLD YOU I CAN BREAK FREE FROM ANY HOLD!" I yell and jump at Hiei. "AHH! GET IT OFF ME!" Hiei yells while Youko and Dustin are laughing and rolling on the floor.

"Mine!" I yell and squeeze him tightly. "Can't…breathe…" Hiei gasps and I loosen my hold and he tries to struggle free. "Hey, what about a threesome?" Youko asks "I've always wanted a threesome with Hiei." He adds and wiggles his eyebrows at the fire demon that flushes red.

"Hmmm, ok! Why not, I mean, it's not like I'm in the same dimension I came from, so what's the harm?" I say. Somewhere in my dimension my mom shudders and starts to cry: "My daughter is a whore!"

"FIVE DOLLA!" I yell at Youko and hold out my hand. He looks at it weirdly and doesn't do anything while Dustin cracks up laughing in the corner. Then I start laughing as Hiei and Youko glance at each other. "I've always wanted to say that. But seriously you both have to give me five dollars." I say and hold out my hand again.

Youko sighs and digs though his pocket for a five dollar bill, as does Hiei. Youko pulls out a tennis racket, a water balloon, some spaghetti, a chainsaw (go chainsaws! TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!), some worms, a really big book, and a clown named Baloni.

"Darn, it must be in my other pants." He says. Hiei digs through his pocket and pulls out a rubber chicken, a bingo card, a dolphin that makes seal noises, some tomatoes, a McDonalds big kid's meal with a bobble head, and a huge wad of cash.

"MONEY!" I yell and take it all. "Hey! THAT'S MY SALARY FOR THE WEEK! GIMME MY MONEY!!" he yells and starts chasing me. He reaches for his katana but there is only the sword hilt and he gasps and looks at me as I twirl it.

"GIMME BACK MY SWORD YOU LITTLE TROUBLEMAKER!!!" he shrieks and runs after me again while Youko and Dustin are laughing again. "NEVER! WAHAHA!!!" I yell and run around in a circle while Hiei is chasing me.

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**-Author's note: Ok I'm bored now, please review and tell me what you think, if you have any randomly delicious ideas just tell me. What will happen next? Will Hiei get his sword and money back? Will Youko, Niki, and Hiei actually have a threesome? Will Shinn return? Will I stop asking you questions that you don't even know the answers to? WHO KNOWS! TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO: WHEN PURPLE MONKEYS THROW BANANAS-YYH STYLE! And now back to your regular television show: How to swim in a moss covered alien salad!-**


	2. Would you like some fries w that shake?

**Would You Like Some Fries With That Shake?**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or else this would happen:**

"TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!" I yell and run around with the chainsaw that Youko took out of his pocket while Hiei is chasing me because I stole his sword. "GIMME! GIMME BACK MY SWORD!" Hiei yells and then suddenly goes chibi. I stop and gasp.

"HIEI'S GONE CHIBI! OHMIBOB HE'S SO CUTE! AHHH!!" I squeal like the fan girl I am and hug him. "NOOOOO!!" he screams in his cute chibi voice and tries to struggle free. Youko and Dustin are still laughing away while trying to keep their stomachs from bursting.

"I need some moooosic!" I say and turn on the radio. Then the song "Always" from Saliva starts blaring and I'm head banging with Hiei. "It's your song Hiei!" I say and he's still trying to get out of my hold.

Just then my Guinea Pig jumps on stage with a gold grille, a long silver chain with a huge dollar sign, and a white hat that says "Baby Phat" and starts singing "Da Club" (I think that's what it's called) by 50 Cent.

"Go, go, go, go, go shorty, it's your birthday; we're gonna party like it's your birthday. We're gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday; and you know we don't give a fuck-It's not your birthday! You can find me in da club…" and whatever else he says after that.

"Woo! Go Jelly Bean! Shake that Jelly Belly!" I yell at him (yes his name is Jelly Bean, don't ask) and then he starts singing, "Shake that Laffy Taffy!" while we all start dirty dancing.

Me and Youko are tearing it up on the dance floor while everyone else is waking up and starting to dance too, Genkai shakes her head and goes outside while Yusuke and Keiko start grinding, Kuwabara tries to grind/dance with Yukina but Hiei almost cuts his throat open, Dustin starts dancing with Botan and Shizuru (that lil playa), and a bunch of other people start grinding until there's a big huge orgy-pit of horny demons/crazy people!

Karasu starts dancing with me and Youko and then the Toguro brothers wanna hit that too so I'm in the middle of a bunch of freaky demons that are having very nasty thoughts. UH OH! Oh well who cares right?

Then, SHINN COMES BACK! YAY! AND KIEI COMES TOO! So now I'm in the middle of two sexy beasts, OH YAYA! Hiei shrugs and joins us (hey he's bisexual; besides, we all know that Hiei is a lil playa inside and just wants to get the chance to show his true side!).

Then my Guinea Pig hands over the mic to my cat Tigger (R.I.P buddy!) who's also dressed like a whigger and he starts rapping his own junk.

"Hey man! You started the party without us?" my best friends Tara and Brandy asked and put their hands on their hips. "TAR-TAR! BRANDY-SAN!" I squeal and hug them and then drag them into the orgy-pit.

So now it's like this: me, Hiei, Shinn, Kiei, Tara, and brandy are all somehow dancing together while Yusuke and Keiko are dancing together who are next to Botan, Shizuru, and Dustin who are dancing together who are next to Karasu, the Toguro brothers, and Youko who are dancing together and Kuwabara and Yukina getting their freak on, literally (I never knew Yukina could get so freaky with it! –gets slapped by Hiei- ow)

If I'm missing anyone oh well! You know, this reminds me of my Homecoming dance…ahhhh that was fun; I was such a hoe…oh, sorry, back to the fic.

"Hey Niki, why are those demons over there looking at me like I'm wonderfully delicious?" Shinn asked me because Karasu and the Toguro brothers were eyeing him (as well as Youko). "They want to rape and torture you." I replied and he started freaking out.

"AHHHHH!!" he screamed like a girl. "Calm down!" Kiei ordered. "Yes master!" Shinn said and continued dancing. I shrugged and continued dancing as well and Hiei was getting wild and kurazy! (I am sooo bad!)

"Go Hiei! Go Hiei!" me, Tara, and Brandy chanted as we danced. Just then Youko pulled Shinn into his little circle and Kiei tried to go after him but Brandy grabbed him and started dancing with him (if you knew Brandy this was random).

Then the BackSync Boys got on stage (the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync; BACKSTREET BOYS TOTALLY OWN N'SYNC!) and started lip-singing to Evanescence's "Lose Control" which I totally owned everyone while dancing to!

Shinn was now grinding with Karasu and Youko (he he he you know they like that) and the Toguro brothers were doing him from the side (ooo that sounds wrong). Kiei was getting jealous so I stole him back from Brandy and got in the middle of him and Hiei while Tara got in front of Hiei and started grinding with him as well.

Yusuke and Keiko were now dancing with Dustin, Botan, and Shizuru while some pickles jumped on stage and did the pickle song: "PICKLES OWN YOU! WE OWN YOU! PICKLES ARE JUICY! WE ARE JUICY! SUCK THAT PICKLE! SUCK US DRY!" and so on.

I like dancing, can you tell?

"QUACK! LET'S HIT THAT!" a bunch of Aflack ducks said as they came into the club we were in and then started dancing with the pickles.

If you're not laughing and almost peeing your pants you have no sense of humor.

"THE PENGUINS ARE COMING! YAY FOR THE PENGIUNS! HAPPY FEET YA'LL! HAPPY FEET!" a drunken Yusuke yelled as a bunch of penguins with sunglasses waddled in and started dancing with the ducks and the pickles. Man can them penguins dance!

"GO MUMBLE! GO MUMBLE!" we all started chanting as the main man himself owned us all with his awesome moves. "Uh oh! You know you want me baby!" Mumble said and did that cool spinning-on-the-ground-break-dance move.

Then water balloons came falling down on us and the water in the balloons were the same color of the balloons themselves. So let's get this picture in our heads: I was red (oh yes!), Kiei was green (In more ways than one! Just kidding you know I love you!), Shinn was blue ("I'm BLUE if I were pink I would die!" Shinn yelled), Yusuke was yellow, Kuwabara was orange, Keiko was purple, Botan was pink, Youko was also red, Karasu was pink (you know he liked it), the Toguro brothers were both green, Hiei was black (Grrr, that cheater put a black balloon right over his head!), Tara was purple and Brandy was also orange!

"Wooo!" Shinn yelled and started dancing again and while we were all rubbing against each other we got different colors on us. RAINBOW! (I'm not a lesbian as you should know by this fic)

So I grabbed Hiei and rubbed all over him until I was red and black. "YES! MY DREAMS HAVE FINALLY COME TRUE! WOO!" I yelled and started dancing with Shinn to be blue as well while he turned red and black as well. We were all rubbing each other trying to be our favorite colors and then some people started disappearing…

"Hey, where's Shinn?" I asked Kiei above the noise. He looked around and said, "Shit! I think Youko and them took him!" he said and looked pissed because they took his bitch without paying him first.

"Oh well, at least it's not me! They won't hurt him too bad." I told him and then Tara and Hiei started dancing funky and me and Brandy shrugged and started swing dancing (this is the only way I'm able to actually be good at swing dancing, sad I know). Kiei was grabbed by Yusuke (who knows, he might be bisexual as well like Youko said) and they all started dancing again and then they formed a mosh-pit because The Offspring came on and started jamming.

We were all head banging by this time (even Hiei!) and running into each other and hitting each other (whether on purpose or by accident) when suddenly the music stopped and the bouncers kicked us all out. It hurt my butt.

* * *

"Argh! Oh well, hey, is Shinn back yet?" I asked and looked around. "No, I think he's still in one of those rooms with the others unless they took him somewhere else." Yusuke said out of no where. 

"Let's find him! IT'S MY TURN!" Hiei yelled and charged towards the direction that his Jagan Eye told him Shinn was. I followed after him and so did Kiei, Tara, and Brandy. Yusuke and the others shrugged and got some random mime to drive them back to the temple.

* * *

We found Shinn being tickled by Karasu while Youko and the brothers were arguing on who was next. "Yo Wazzup homie G dawgs?" I yelled loudly to get their attention. "Oh, hi Niki! Hi Kiei! Hi Tara! Hi Brandy!" Shinn called while laughing as Karasu tickled him more. 

Kiei twitched and I had to restrain him from attacking him and Youko yelled, "HE'S MINE NEXT! YOU TWO GO AWAY BEFORE I GET YUSUKE TO OWN YOU AGAIN!" at Toguro so they left and Shinn sighed a breath of relief and then Karasu tickled him again. (You don't wanna know where his tickle spot is, seriously, you don't wanna know man)

"Ok, well, I'll pick him up later tomorrow then." Kiei said. He waved to Shinn who yelled at him to "TAKE ME WITH YOU!" and actually reached out to him (it was so cute) and I hugged him so tight I think I broke a rib or two and then he was gone.

"Ok, MINE!" Youko said and grabbed Shinn who squeaked like a mouse. He and Karasu looked at each other and grinned and then pulled him again and he squeaked again. Then they started a tug-o-war over him (been there done that) and Youko ended up winning and Karasu grinned an "I'll get you soon my precccioussss." grin and then left.

"Um, ok then." Shinn said as he was picked up bridal style by Youko and they left. I, Tara, and Brandy all looked at each other, shrugged, and then did the can-can before trying to skip home together.

* * *

We finally made it back to Genkai's temple. Everyone was already passed out all over the place so we tip-toed quietly to an empty room, but then we heard weird noises coming from the room next to us and decided to just crash in Hiei's room farther down the extremely long hallway. 

"Shhhh, he's sleeping!" I whispered. "Awww, he looks so innocent when he's sleeping!" Tara said and we giggled and somehow managed to snuggle up next to him. _'Tomorrow will be funny' _I think as I drift to sleep. _'Hey, what happened to the chainsaw and Hiei's katana? Oh well, we'll find it tomorrow.' _I think again and then go blank.

Meanwhile, we hear the _vroom, vrooooom! _of a chainsaw and maniacal laughter is also heard in the distance…

* * *

**-Author's Note: YAY I LIKE DANCING! Uh oh, I forgot to hide the chainsaw again; I wonder who has it this time… Anyways, please review and tell em what you think, ideas are still welcome and if you want to be in this then tell me and I'll get you in! Now we all know why this fic is rated T for Teen. Will everyone be alive by tomorrow? Is Shinn being owned by Youko? Will Karasu own Shinn too? Will this fic get even weirder? Why am I asking these questions again? Is it because they're fun? WHO KNOWS! TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO: WHEN PURPLE MONKEYS ATTACK: YYH STYLE! (That's what it was supposed to say on the last chapter, I dunno if I changed it, but oh well) And now back to: Polar bears and their habit of break dancing in New York's Town Square in the middle of spring!-**


	3. Chapter 3: HOT TAMALES!

**Chapter 3: HOT TAMALES!**

**Disclaimer: Um, me no own teh YYH and co., Kiei owns Shinn and I own Kiei, and, um, yeah.**

* * *

Hiei woke up snuggled between three girls and sat up. He looked at all of us before pushing us out of the bed we were in.

"Hel-lo!" I yelled as I hit my head on the floor. "Owiekins, that hurteded!" I yelled again and then Tara fell on me, which hurt because she's taller than me and much heavier, so while I was wondering why the sky was raining Tara, Brandy fell on top of her and I was crushed even more.

"Can't…breathe…" I gasp and then see Hiei look over the bed at us. I reach out my hand that isn't being crushed by Tara or Brandy (who are both still sleeping) to him but he shrugs and then leans back against the wall, getting a book and reading it.

So I struggle to get out from under the dog-pile and finally manage to crawl across the floor and Tara and Brandy get tangled in each other but still don't wake up. _Hmmm,_ I think mischievously before I reach up onto the bed and try to pull myself up while huffing and puffing.

When I finally scramble on top of Hiei's bed he growls at me and I say, "'Ey man, why'd you push Tara-san and Brandy-san on top of me? That was just plain rude man." And glare at him.

Before he gets to answer we hear a shriek and Shinn runs in…with ripped up clothes…and blood…coming from different places…...I like dots…...dotty!...oh ok…

"Um, good morning?" I ask him and he runs and jumps on the bed, wrapping his arms around both of us.

Then we hear maniacal laughter and…a chainsaw? _So that's where it went…_ I thought and gasped as Karasu comes in with the chainsaw and shouts, "Aha! There you are! I told you I'd get you! Come to Uncle Karasu, Shinn!"

Then Youko comes up behind him and jumps on his back and starts pounding him like a monkey and Hiei pushes us off and continues to read his book.

Meanwhile, Tara and Brandy are starting to wake up (finally!). "Hey! Keep it down! We're trying to sleep!" Tara yells at them and then sees Shinn and me huddled up in a corner holding onto each other and realize what's going on.

"Ohhhhhh." She says and then gets up and goes over to the fighting demons. She taps Youko on the shoulder and they both turn around and she punches them in the face and they fall down on top of each other with their tongues hanging out and stars in their eyes.

"I've always wanted to do that." She said and Brandy runs up and yells, "Yay! I can torture and do experiments on them!" and drags them off somewhere.

Shinn sighs and says, "Thanks." And then we get up and stand there. "Um, hi." I say and we all laugh. Then I pull out a pie with whipped cream and throw it at Shinn and we start pointing and laughing at him.

He wipes it off slowly and then takes the chainsaw. Uh Oh. A crazy look comes across his face as he looks at us and he laughs manically and screams, "TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" and starts chasing us with the chainsaw.

We scream…ooo…. "YOU SCREAM, I SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!" me and Tara scream and some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream appears and we all start eating it.

"Hey, guess what I came up with?" I ask them. "Um, how to pinch a squirrel and give it bubble gum so it can fly away to its tree instead of climbing?" Shinn asks. "No, not yet." I say and sigh, but then perk up with: "What a Yu Yu Hakusho Character Wouldn't Say!" and they laugh and say, "Yay! Let's hear it!"

By this time Yusuke and Keiko who looked disheveled and like they had a fun time last night shuffled in and sat down on the couch to listen, as well as Yukina and Kuwabara who looked the same. Hiei took one look and grabbed the chainsaw from Shinn and started chasing Kuwabara with it while Yukina laughed and said, "Oh, nii-san, you so fuuuuny!"

I cleared my throat and then said, "Ok, Number One:

Hiei: 'I like to move it, move it! I like to move it, move it!' you know the song?

2) Kuwabara: I'm such a loser!

3) Kurama: Your mama's a loser!

4) Yusuke: Hey! It's not nice to talk about other people's moms!

5) Hiei: I love everyone! Will you be my friend?

6) Yusuke: Sure! Let's go skip through a field of pretty daisies wearing pink kimono's because we're pretty boys!

7) Kurama: Hey! I'm a pretty boy!

8) Youko: I'm not sexy, everybody hates me, and so I'm going to the garden to eat some worms!

And that's about it right now."

Everyone looks at me funny at first and then they all burst out laughing, falling out of the chair or off of the couch and rolling on the floor while clutching their stomachs.

I grin widely and then Yukina starts singing, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes: I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes:" and keeps repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over…and over and over and over and over…and over and over…and over…and over!

Hiei is holding his ears and singing, "La, la, la! I can't hear you! La, la, la!" while Kuwabara sneaks back to Yukina and starts singing with her. Yusuke yawns and puts his arm around Keiko and she turns and slaps him.

"Hey! What was that for!?" he yells at her. "Oh, it was a love slap! It means I love you!" she said and looked at him crazily. He rubbed his cheek and mumbled, "Man, love hurts." "It sure does Mister!" Keiko yelled and started attacking him.

Yusuke and Keiko are running around the temple and Genkai comes out to see what's going on and then shakes her head and trudges back into her room, mumbling things I shan't repeat!

Then Karasu and Youko woke up and went into the living room to get Shinn after agreeing to have a threesome. "Eeep!" Shinn squeaks and hides behind Hiei. Hiei looks behind him and sees Shinn but shrugs, picks him up bridal style, and walks past Youko and Karasu who are scratching their heads and looking at each other.

"I'm taking him to be mine since you two are constantly fighting over him." Hiei explained bluntly to them and they say, "Ohhhhhh." And nod. I raise one of my brows (I can't really do that I only wish I could) and glance at Tara who shrugs and continues eating ice cream and popcorn while watching everything.

"Hmmm, I'm bored again." I say. Yes, I get bored easily, but I also get amused easily. "Let's go swimming!" I yell and everyone stops and then runs for the huge, ginormous pool out back and we all change into our bathing suits (well, some of us…) and jump in!

"Weeee! This is fun!" I squeal and splash someone. I splashed Kuwabara and he splashed me back and we get in a splash fight. Yusuke and Keiko are also in a splash fight and Kurama joins us and starts whipping the water with his rose whip.

"I like to live on the edge-ah! I like the view from above-ah! I like to do what I want, and what I want is to see you for miles and miles and miles on edge-ah!" Shinn starts singing and I join in as Hiei holds him in the pool so he can't escape and run off somewhere and end up getting hurt.

"You know, I've been thinking about getting him a chastity belt." Kiei told him, suddenly appearing next to them with his elbows over the edge of the pool. Shinn gasped and looked at him with eyes wide, "BUT I'M NOT A GIRL! NOOOO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!" and starts struggling to get out of Hiei's hold, splashing everyone in the pool.

Hiei tightens his hold and lifts Shinn out of the water while he's flailing about while Kiei is laughing. Then Kiei says, "It'll stop you from getting raped!" "DEMONS CAN JUST MELT IT OR BREAK IT OR SOMETHING! BESIDES, IT GIVES PEOPLE RASHES! I DON'T WANT A RASH! I'M ALLLERGIC TO METAL DEVICES DESIGNED TO RESTRICT!" Shinn yelled and then stopped and looked at Kiei, "Hey, how will I be able to pee?" and he shrugs and then grabs him while an executioner comes with a male chastity belt (I dunno what it looks like or how it even existed but this is the Makai so anything can happen!).

Shinn starts shrieking while Kiei and Hiei hold him down on the deck and all of us watch while saying, "Oooooo, ahhhh." But then I clear my throat and say, "Um, even though Shinn is a little man-hoe, I doubt he wants everyone to see his shlong, or you two putting a chastity belt on him." And they look at each other and say, "You're right." And then drag him away as he breathes a sigh of relief.

But then he starts shrieking again and curses me while trying to get out of their hold, which he actually does! Yay! Run free buddy! RUN FREEE!!! I actually scream that as he runs away from them and they start chasing him, the executioner person is fat so he just sits there and waits for them to come back (I think he's secretly gay…O.o).

I start laughing and then me and Tara and Brandy wink and then chase after Hiei and Kiei while everyone else looks at each other, shrugs, and then goes back to whatever they were doing.

I, Tara, and Brandy catch up with Hiei and Kiei while Shinn is sticking his tongue out at them from a really high tree and Hiei is shaking his fist at him because he got caught in a bear trap and Kiei is shaking the tree trying to make Shinn fall out.

"TREE HUGGER!" I yell up at Shinn who is clutching the tree so he doesn't fall out and go SPLAT! "GET HIM!" I yell and we all tackle Kiei. "What the-!" he yells and then gets tackled to the ground as we're laughing while holding him down (which isn't easy people).

"Yay!" Shinn shouts and then starts to climb down the tree. Hiei is gnawing at his leg and trying to get the trap open while Kiei is trying to get us off of him while Shinn jumps down and starts running somewhere. "RUN, FOREST, RUN!" we all yell after him and then Kiei gives up and Hiei starts kicking and going crazy.

"GET THIS THING OFFA ME! NOW!!!" he yells and I pull a small switch on the side and it comes off. He looks at me and then growls and then after repairing his leg runs off after Shinn.

Kiei gets up and then we wait and listen until we hear, "EEEEEEEEK!" and then Hiei comes back carrying a pouting Shinn bridal-style. "We'll have to find another way to keep Shinn from getting hurt." Hiei says.

Shinn gasps and hugs him. "YAY! NO CHASTITY BELT!" he yells and sticks his tongue out at Kiei who responds in the same way and then they start making funny faces at each other while we're all laughing and Hiei is raising his eyebrow and shaking his head.

"Hey guys, um, what are you doing?" Kurama asks as he comes around the corner. "Shinn isn't getting a chastity belt after all." Hiei replied and Shinn grinned. "Oh, cool," Kurama replied and we just sat there until Tara started whistling, and then Brandy joined and I got mad because I STILL CAN'T WHISTLE!

Just then, MY FRIEND JENNIFER WHO'S NICKNAME IS JENNY RAN OVER TO US!! YAY!!!! "HEY JENNY! WAZZUP MY HOME DAWG SKILLET WITH MASHED POTATOEAS AND GRAVY!?" I yell.

"HEY NIKI MY CHEESECAKE PASTA WITH CHICKEN AND BRAINS!" Jenny replies and we hug, then she turns to Kurama and says slyly, "Hey Kurama…wanna have a good time?" and wiggles her eyebrows.

"Uhhhh, what type of good time?" he asks with a slight blush as we all go "OOOOOOOOO GO KURAMA! GO KURAMA!" and start laughing. "Well…what do you have in mind?" she asked again.

It was apparent that she had a crush on him (ooo la-la!). "Hey, if she gets to have a good time with Kurama….I WANT HIEI! MINE!!!!!!!" I said and tackled Hiei making Shinn fall.

"Hey! I WANT HIEI! NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Shinn whined and I stuck my tongue out at him and replied with, "YOU HAVE KIEI! NOW GO HAVE SEX OR SOMETHING! MINE!!!" and then run off dragging Hiei who is shaking his head and sighing to himself.

Tara and Brandy were laughing as Shinn was sitting there pouting with his arms crossed until he pulled a cute puppy-dog look on Kiei who sighed and said, "Ok, come on you crazy kid." And then dragged him off somewhere I don't know.

Kurama was still blushing as Jenny was getting closer to him so he said, "Um, well, why don't we, uh, join the others in the pool?" he asks. "OK! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Jenny replied and then also dragged Kurama off to the pool.

Tara and Brandy shrugged and followed them back to the pool. The others were still splashing each other and looked confused yet secretly happy to see Kurama with a beautiful Puerto Rican girl with long brownish-red curly hair and a blue cutting edge bikini with Hawaiian flowers and also a flower in her hair (courtesy of her man, Kurama-san!).

"WAZZUP GUYS?!" Jenny asks and they reply in their own way. "Oooooo, does Kurama have a new girlfriend??" Yusuke asks and winks at him while Keiko slaps him. Kuwabara's eyes turn to hearts as his mouth drops and drool comes out (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS).

Yukina breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes next to Botan. Then Jenny dives in and yells, "WHO WANTS TO HAVE A SPLASH FIGHT!?" and everyone starts splashing each other.

Jenny is splashing Kuwabara who keeps trying to get next to her and suddenly throws a rubber duck at him that hits him in the head, but he pursues! She sighs and says, "You know, I didn't want to have to do this, but oh well!" and then throws Bush at them, no, not an actual leafy mess, not the beer, but….. (Drum roll please)……THE BAND!!!! (The people that sing "Glycerine")

"NOOOOOOOO!! I LIKE MEGALLICA!" Kuwabara gasps and shouts as he's hit in the head by the lead singer of Bush and then gets knocked out. ("Megallica" is Mega Death and Metallica combined, he actually says it's his favorite band in the series, woot woot aint' I smart!?)

Jenny laughs and then feels Kurama's arm around her waist. He's looking the other way like nothing's going on with a blush. "Ooo, hey there baby!" Jenny says and he looks back. "Huh? Oh! Sorry, it was an accident." Kurama says and takes his arm off of her waist.

"Oh no you don't!" Jenny says and puts his arm back and smiles. Then I come back with Hiei and NOOOOOO THE EVIL PINK BUNNIES ARE ATTACKING MY BRAIN!!! OH THE HORROR! THE HORROR!!!!

Then Hiei slaps me and I wake up. "Oh, I'M BORED! LET'S GO TO THE MALL AND SPEND MONEY WE DON'T HAVE!!!!!" I scream and Jenny yells back and we all run to the car and drive up there…all 10 or so of us…..in a mustang…..a black mustang……with white stripes…..SEVEN NATION ARMY!!!!!

Anyways, we all arrive at the wonderfully delicious mall! YAY MALL!!! "Come on! Us girls will go out and buy stuff with fake money while you guys go buy stuff with what you have in your pockets!!! I suggest jumping Hiei because he has a huge wad of cash!" I tell them and we all separate into two groups and run around the mall creating massive mayhem and destruction!

"WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! ICICLE BIRDIES! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!" I yell and run into Hot Topic, as I enter I stare in awe at the hot guys with lip piercings and tight shirts as well as all the freakin' awesome stuff they have and me and Tara and Brandy look at each other and then scream loudly and run around the small store picking up random items to buy with our fake money.

Jenny runs in and joins us after reassuring the other girls that Hot Topic wasn't a dangerous demon-infested store made to torment goody-two-shoes and pansy gays. (Which is a total lie by the way…wink)

Yukina was looking at some bondage pants and said; "I wonder if Hiei will like these?" they were black and had handcuffs and chains criss-crossing all over. "Oh yeah, he'd look totally hot in them!" I tell her and wink and she picks them up.

One of the hot guys who work at Hot Topic is looking over at me staring at a sexy red and black plaid corset that I've always wanted with a matching skirt and says, "Not only can I help you get them in you, but I can also get them off of you!" and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Oooooo, ok!" I say and we run to the back. Oh I'm so bad (does cross sign over chest and forehead).

* * *

Meeeaaannwhileeeee……

The boys are strutting around winking at hot chicks that pass by (and a few dudes, come on…you know you like that guy-on-guy action!!! Oh yeah you can tell I'm a girl now, lol).

It was then that they saw Victoria's Secret and sat staring at the girls inside trying on bras and underwear. "Hmmm, that gives me an idea…." Shinn thinks to himself and smirks evilly while glancing at Kiei.

"Hey guys, wanna go to Spencers?" Shinn asks and raises his eyebrows up and down. "Ohhhhhh yeah! Let's go!" Yusuke says and they all run to Spencers except Hiei who has no idea what that is so just walks after them. (Hint I didn't say Kurama didn't go….wink)

They went into Spencers where a bunch of couples were looking for things to use while having sex and Shinn spots his perfect revenge. "Ooooooohhhhhh Kiiiiieeeiiiiii!!!" he called and he went over to him while the others wandered around.

"What?' he asked. "You were going to put a chastity belt on me….so for perfect revenge….YOU HAVE TO WEAR THIS SEE-THROUGH THONG!!! I TRIPLE DOUBLE-DOG DARE YOU!!!!!" Shinn yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.

"And you have to run around the stores wearing it." Shinn said and grinned, holding the thong in front of him. Kiei's mouth was open and his eyes were wide as Hiei and the others started laughing as the girls came all around them, totally forgetting about their not-as-sexy boyfriends.

"You're serious?" Kiei asked after he recovered. "Yep! And I _will _put them on you if you refuse." Shinn threatened. Kiei sighed and then took it and went to the changing stall unwillingly and Shinn followed to make sure he didn't try to escape.

"Hey, now we'll get to see if he's really as big as they say he is." Yusuke told Kurama who nodded and Hiei grinned despite himself (Oh yeah Hiei is so bad ow ow!).

Everyone was waiting and watching and then Shinn came out and told them, "You can see him running around the stores, give him some space for now!" (Translation: GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!! MY SEXY!!!! MINE!!!! ALL MINE!!!!)

The couples went back to picking out their stuff (cough cough) as Kiei peeked from behind the curtain. "C'mon!" Shinn said and lead him out. Kiei sighed as everyone's mouth hung open at the size of his cock. No seriously he had a huge rooster in his hand that got stuck in the stall earlier so he let it run free as it squawked and woke up all the napping shoppers and workers.

"Awww man! How can we compete with that!?" Yusuke asked. For those of you yelling at me to hurry up and tell you how big it is……BE PATIENT!!!! IT'S A VIRTURE!!! Whatever that means….

Hiei went to stand beside him as Shinn grinned and the others passed out. "10 INCHES!!! GET YOUR STEAMY HOT 10 INCH HOT DOG! FIVE DOLLA!!!!!" Shinn started screaming and people looked over and gasped as they saw Kiei trying to strangle Shinn while Shinn was yelling very obscene things about his dick.

"Now you have to come with us and run around! Ha! And you thought you could try to put a chastity belt on me and get away with it! HA!" Shinn was saying and then Kiei brightened. "You know what, I'm actually going to flaunt my stuff; I mean, how many guys have a ten inch dick? You don't!" Kiei said and pointed at Shinn who pouted.

"That's just disgusting…I can't believe you guys, I'm going to find Yukina." Kuwabara said. Hey where'd he come from? Did he come with us? Oh well. So he was about to leave when Hiei came up behind him with a spiky metal baseball bat that he STOLE from me and hit Kuwabaka over the head with it and pushed him into an empty stall while whistling nonchalantly.

"Yeah Shinn, how big is yours then? I'll tell you if you tell me!" Yusuke was saying. All the girls were once again crowding around the boys while their boyfriends were getting pissed but didn't dare to do anything because they were PANSYS!!!

"Mine? Its eight and a half inches! So there!" Shinn said and stuck his tongue out. "You know, if you keep doing that someone is going to take you up on that offer." Kiei told him. Shinn stuck his tongue out again and a bunch of girls (and some dudes) tackled him and started making out with him (ORGY!).

"Oh, mine's only eight inches. Man, he's so small though, you'd think it'd be like six inches!" Yusuke said. "Mine is three centimeters away from being nine inches." Kurama stated and everyone's jaw dropped. Kiei looked him up and down and said, "You know, I could see that…"

"Hey, how big is yours Hiei?" Yusuke asked (man is he horny or what?). "You'll never guess." Hiei said and smirked. "It's probably only six inches." Yusuke joked. "Actually it's longer than that, much longer." Hiei AND Kurama both stated calmly. Shinn gasped and said, "Is it nine inches!?" "Yes." Hiei replied. Shinn stood there for a second, looking from Kiei to Hiei, then yelled, "YAY MY PIMPS HAVE BIG DICKS!" and then hugged Hiei and Kiei and said, "ONWARD!"

Ok this is getting long isn't it? What will happen next? Will the girls get to see the sexy ten inch anaconda? Do YOU want to see the ten inch anaconda? TOO BAD! ALL MINE!!!

Shinn: No, HE'S MINE!

Me: NO! MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!

Shinn: …ok you win….loser

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**-Author's Note: Yeah….please review because they make me happy! Peace!-**


	4. Chapter 4: Ooo shalala

**Chapter 4: Ooo sha-la-la, ooo ooo sha-la-la-la! Ooo sha-la-la, ooo ooo sha-la-la-la!**

**Disclaimer: If you don't already know, me no ownage. OC's I own though, like Kiei (Shinn is from GSD) and my friends own themselves…I think…me no own the songs either…they were just stuck in my head or on the radio :D**

* * *

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" I scream at the top of my lungs while running around the mall. "BALLOOOOONS!!!" someone screams and grabs some balloons. "ME WANT!" I scream and grab a red one. "YAY!!" 

"Hey guys! Shinn made Kiei wear a see-through thong!" Tara yelled. (Actually it was my friend Jenny's idea, YOU GO GIRL!) We all gasped, Botan, Yukina, and Keiko covered their eyes and looked disgusted, while us others laughed.

Then we saw Kiei himself carrying a struggling Shinn over to the ginormous fountain in the middle of the mall. "Oh my Bob! NO! MY BALLOON BOB IS GONE!!!" I scream as my balloon floats away from me.

Just then SPLASH! And Shinn is sitting in the freezing cold water glaring at Kiei who is laughing with the others (still in his thong) the girls all shriek after finally opening their eyes to see the…ANACONDA! DUN DUN DUUUUNNNN!!!

"Ow ow! Shake that juicy wang!" Jenny called to him. He went next to her and they started dancing, so naturally I had to join that. Then we got knocked over because Shinn tackled Kiei.

Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke were all laughing, and then Hiei couldn't resist himself and started hacking up the mall-walkers. Kurama decided not to restrain his friend and turned Youko so he could join the fun.

"AND THE WALLS! COME TUMBLIN' DOWN! AND THE WALLS!" I start to sing because it's stuck in my head.

And then I get another song stuck in my head, "Uh huh this my sh-, all the girls gotta be like this, few times I been 'round that track so it's not just gonna happen like that 'cause I ain't no holla back girl, I ain't no holla back girl!"

"THIS SH- IS BANANAS, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! THIS SH- IS BANANAS! B-A-N-A-N-A-S! I SAID THIS SH- IS BANANAS, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, THIS SH- IS BANANAS, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" Tara, Brandy and Jenny joined in while Kiei and Shinn were wrestling in the ground and shoppers were being massacred.

It took the po-pos standing over by the chocolate donuts store all this time to finally realizing that we were causing trouble (with a lil chaos on the side). So then the fat-so's decided to saunter up to us and ask, "Hey, what's goin' on here?"

"Uhhhhh, Kiei and Shinn are wrestling on the ground while Hiei and Youko are killing all the shoppers and Yusuke is looting the stores and also looking for Kuwabara; me, Tara, Brandy, and Jenny are all singing and dancing to songs that are stuck in our heads while the other girls are going crazy, well, except Shizuru, she's outside smoking." I explain quickly.

"Well, I order you to stop!" the fat cop said and almost spit in my face. "'Ey man! What's yo problem dawg? Me and my homies are ova here tryin' to have some fun and buy some bling bling while you all up in this joint frontin'! Now I want some respect yo, or else I'll bust a gat in yo head, you got me?" (1)Yukina went all gangsta to the cop.

Hiei stopped mid-slash and his eyes widened. "Yea, what my home gurl said, you best get ta steppin'!" (2) I said as well as the cops started backing away. "Uh huh, that's right, you get cho fat behinds up outta here, go eat another donut fat man! STOP RAPING LIL CHURIN!" (3) Jenny yelled and all went silent and froze except for a cricket that Hiei smashed without taking his eyes off of Jenny.

"Uhhh, he looks like a pedophile?" she said by means of explanation, everyone shrugged and said, "ok." And resumed whatever they were doing.

"Yeah! All right homies!" I say and we all high-five. "Hey, where's Tar-Tar?" I ask (Tar-Tar is my nickname for Tara) and look around for her.

"Oh, she's helping Hiei kill those preppy sluts over there." Shinn answered. I see her and nod, but then I say, "Shinn…why are you naked…?" he blushes and then frowns. "Kiei took my clothes, and I'm not naked he put that thong on me…I FEEL SO VIOLATED!!!!" he screamed and then cried into his hands, I hugged him while patting his back and said, "There, there, it's ok."

Kiei was laughing and sure enough wearing Shinn's clothes. "Oh hey! Shinn's got a big bazooka too!!" Jenny said and Keiko fainted while Botan turned white. Yukina's eyes were wide and Hiei quickly covered her eyes.

"EEEK!" Shinn screamed and practically jumped on me so that they only saw his tight –butt- "NOTHING TO SEE HERE!" he screamed while I was trying not to fall over because I'm very short.

"Hopefully Karasu isn't here…" he said, just then he was poked on the back and he gulped before slowly turning his head… "AHHHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!!!!! KIEI!!!!" Shinn screamed because Karasu was there grinning.

"MINE!" Youko yelled and tackled Karasu. Hiei shook his head while Kiei turned his back to Shinn and said, "Hmph! Good riddance!" "Here, wear my cloak." Hiei said and gave Shinn his coat, he looked around and quickly put the cloak around him, the ends just covering his butt.

He sighed in relief. "Ahhh, thanks He-chan!!" he said and hugged Hiei who twitched slightly but didn't struggle. I giggled and said, "Ok I'm bored again…I'M OFF TO KILL THE WIZARD!!!" I say and run out of the mall.

Everyone starts to follow me out screaming their own things, I think I heard Yusuke say, "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" or was it "SURRENDER THE CAMELTOE!"? Anyways, everyone raced outside, rushing past Shizuru who calmly sighed, flicked her cigarette away, and walked slowly to the car knowing full well we'd never leave her behind in fear of torture…with cigarettes…yes…cigarette burns hurt….I know…I got burned twice…BY MY PARENTS!

EVIL CLOWNS!

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedlee-dee, there they are a standing in a row bum-bum-bum, big ones, small ones, some as big as yo head!" we're all singing in the small car.

"So Kiei, what do you say me, you, and Shinn have a threesome?" Youko asked and wiggled his eyebrows. "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!" Kiei replied and grinned. Youko looked quizzical but didn't say anything…..

I DREW A PICTURE OF A DEFORMED CLOWN WHALE!!! Too bad I can't put it on here though…grrrrrrr…..oh, back to the ficcy…………………….MORE DOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yes, that's right Niki, watch the little red light, it went that way, yes, there you go, oh! Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaa!!" Kiei started laughing because I bumped my head on the wall trying to catch the red light. RED!!!! LIGHT! SHINY! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHINY!!!! And I'm at it again!

Hiei was chuckling with Yusuke over in the corner watching me as Shinn was hanging out with Tara, Brandy, and Jenny who was showing them some cute pictures of her new little sister!!!!

"Argh! Brandy help me catch the shiny red light!" I yell at Brandy and she runs over and we're both trying to catch the light. Kiei keeps making us bump into each other and crashing over stuff because he's the one that has the light (it's one of those really small laser pen thingys).

Just then THE PURPLE MONKEYS INVADE THE TEMPLE AND EVERYONE'S RUNNING AROUND SCREAMING LIKE HEADLESS CHICKENS AND THE MONKEY'S RED BANANAS ARE SHOOTING GREEN RAYS OF LIGHT AND IS MAKING EVERYTHING FEEL LIKE CHRISTMAS!

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!" they sing and bring out trumpets to play the song better. "WEEE! MONKEYS! HELLO CUTE LITTLE MONKEYMAN!" I squeal and hug a cute looking monkey who hugs me back and smiles.

DUN DUN DUN! IT'S THE SQUIRRELS! THEY'VE COME TO CHALLENGE THE MONKEYS TO A BREAKDANCING CONTEST! NOOOOO MY CUTE MONKEYS! Awww, hello cute little squirrely! I say again and hug a squirrel who tries to bite my face while hitting me with a fried chicken leg (yummylicious!).

"YODELAYHEHOO! Did someone call a plumber?" a woman in overalls asks as she walks in the door. "No, but the squirrels have come to challenge the monkeys to a break-dance contest.

"CAN'T BREAK ME DOWN! BURY ME BURY ME! I AM FINISHED WITH YOU!" the song goes and the purple monkey's leader starts break-dancing. "LOOK AT MY EYES YOU'RE KILLING ME KILLING ME ALL I WANTED WAS YOU!"

"Popcorn! Get ya popcorn! One dolla!" Shinn was saying as he passed out popcorn to everyone. Hiei and Kurama were up really high in the bleachers throwing stuff at the break-dancers to see if they fall or mess up, and laughing if they did.

Yusuke and Kuwabara (who was finally found and brought back home) were being the DJ's and scoring the break-dancers while everyone else was in the bleachers cheering whoever they wanted (I think I heard someone root for the geese…the geese are here too? Then where's the pickles? Why am I asking you, you don't know the people in my mind! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY MIND! TACOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With tomato sauce)

And the red hot chili peppers (not the band unfortunately, they were on tour) finally declared the winners:…………………why are you all looking at me?...WHAT!?...oh, you want me to tell you who won…….ummmmm……I dunno I wasn't really paying attention…….in fact I was tickling Hiei……who kept stabbing me with his sword…owiekins that kinda hurts! STOP POKING ME WITH YOUR SWORD! I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT'S BEEN! I NEVER LEARNED COLORS!!!!! BUT IT'S SO EASY A CAVEMAN CAN DO IT!!!!

And then the lawyers came looking all fancy and had their cute little notebooks they never actually used and said that I could be sued for saying that so I threw a monkey banana at them and they never came back………except when the po-pos told them I should be arrested for property damage…then I had to throw a tree at them…along with a wooden bowl full of sugar ants because it was the sugar bowl but I ate all the sugar.

ROBOT DUDE! I LOVE MY ROBOT DUDE ON MICROSOFT WORD!!!! "Will you stop yelling weird things baka onna!? You're giving me a headache!" Hiei yelled in my ear. "Oh, sorry, I was bored and hyper, hehehe." I replied.

"Well entertain yourself….somewhere else!" he yelled again so I stuck my tongue out at him and went over to Kurama who was playing poker with Koenma, Yusuke, and Shizuru.

"Whatcha doin'?" I ask and grin. "Playing poker." Kurama replied calmly as usual. "Ooooo, so are you winning?" I ask again, beginning a very long game of "Can I get Kurama out of his calm state and into a crazed one by being extremely annoying???".

"I'm not too sure right now, but I believe so." He replied. "Oh, I thought you knew everything." I say. "I don't, there's many things I don't know, but I do know a lot more than the average person." He responded and made a move.

(I know nothing of how to play poker so there's no game play sorry)

"Ok then, I'm smart too, I'm just addicted to caffeine and battling depression while trying to live the life of a fourteen year old in a ghetto high school knowing that I'll move to a totally different state in the summer and leave all my friends behind having to make new ones which sucks because it wasn't as easy as I thought when we moved the last time. Oh and I'm mentally insane although sometimes you can't tell it's just that this fic is supposed to be random so I have to drink lots of caffeine and eat a lot of sugar…..thus going insane…yay." I say really fast.

"I know." was all he said and then won the game for the 15th time that hour. "Yeah, I thought so." I said and then walked around the table looking at everyone's cards. "Yusuke, I know nothing about poker, but I think you're losing." I tell Yusuke and he growls, "Yeah I know." with a cigar sticking out of his mouth.

"Hey Shizuru has an Ace! Is that a good thing?" I say loud and Shizuru chuckles instead of glaring at me because she's just cool like that. Kurama says that its impolite to shout out what other people have but says it's a good thing (don't quote me on this it's probably not a good thing, like I said I know nothing of poker).

"Oh reeeeaaally?" I ask and go over to him and say, "Wow Kurama, you have two kings, a queen, Jack, _and _an Ace, that must be really good!" (Isn't that kinda like a royal flush?) And he twitches while Hiei chuckles. "I told you it was impolite to shout out what other people had, _Nicole_, now I'm asking you not to do that again." He said sternly yet calmly.

I fake gasp and then say, "Or what??" making my eyes go wide and puckering my mouth to look questioning and fake-scared (use your imagination people). "Don't test me, Niki." He replied, still calmly. "Why? Are you God??" I ask and make the face again.

"No." he said and made another move, thus winning the game for the 18th time in a row in that same hour. "Hey, you just went from 15th time to 18th, what's up with that?" Yusuke asked. "IT'S MY RANDOM CRAZY FANFIC SO I CAN PUT WHATEVER NUMBERS I WANT!!!!" I yell at him and then decide to cut my friend's arm hair. ( actually wanted to do this today, hehe)

"JOSE! HEY HOE! GIMME YOUR REALLY BIG SCISSORS!" I yell in his ear. "Ow! Why'd you yell in my ear!?" he asks. "Because I felt like it! Now gimme your scissors so I can cut your arm hair!" I tell him.

"What? No! I don't trust you!" he said, shielding his arm from my grasp. Then me, Tara, Brandy, and Shinn all busted out laughing. "You don't trust me? HAHAHA! THAT'S SO HELLARIOUS!" I laugh loudly while Kiei starts whistling while taking side-steps to sneak away….which I always catch him doing.

"Kiei, get back here and hold him down so I can cut his arm hair!" I yell at him so he does it like a good little boy, hehehe….MORE DOTS!!!! OOOO A BUTTON! POKE POKE POKE! OW! THE COKE CAN CUT MY PINKY FINGER! PINKY AND THE BRAIN! BRAINS! I WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!

_SLAP! _"Thank you Hiei." "Hn. Baka onna." "MUWAHAHA!!! I SHALL NOW CUT OFF YOUR ARM HAIR!!! MAKING YOUR ARM….BALD!!! DUN DUN DUUUNNNN!!!!" I screech and then start clipping away at Jose's poor arm.

"Noooo! My precious arm hair!" he cries (not literally just fake crying…..) "Wahaha! Aren't I so cruel?" I ask and he nods and sniffles. "At least it's not me!" Shinn says and smiles wide. "Ooooo, SHINN I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HAIR!!!!!" I scream and tackle him.

"NOOOOOOO I HAD TO OPEN MY BIG MOUTH!!!!" he screams as well and we're wrestling on the floor with scissors. Kiei let go of Jose and started laughing at us while Tara also got scissors and snuck up behind Kiei….

Brandy got her ductape purse, along with matching ductape lipstick, eyeliner, binder, speakers; Bible (gotta have a ductape Bible…), printer, monk, midget (a gangster midget, the best kind), and a waffle (I like waffles don't you?) and decided to go out side for a walk (actually she wanted to kidnap some penguins and make them her pets).

Shinn's hair atop his head was disheveled and sticking up in many places while I sat across from him pointing my finger at him and laughing because I am a cruel and unusual punishment.

He sniffled and made his eyes real big and sad looking and puffed his lower lip. "Awww, you look like a kitty!" I exclaim and then hug him tightly…very tightly. "Oi! I'm not a cute little kitty!" he yelled and squirmed but couldn't get out of my hold.

"Where's a cute little kitty!?" Kuwabaka yelled as he rushed into the room looking all excited (cough cough, ugh I have something stuck in my throat! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY THROAT!). "Shinn's a cute little kitty!" I say and smile wide with my eyes close and Shinn narrows his eyes and continues to pout.

"You know, he may seem like a cute little kitty now, but in bed he can be a wild beast!" some one (cough cough Kiei cough cough I SAID GET OUT OF MY THROAT YOU BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEPER BLEEP BLEEEEEEP BLEEPING BLEEP BLEEPER BLEEPER BLEEP BLEEEP BLEEPING BLEEP!! –You hear things crash in the background….then a pig squeal…then some potato chips go crunch crunch crunch…then glass breaking…then some birds squawk and flap their wings…- BLEEP!) said.

Shinn turned a bright red like his and Hiei's eyes and he grinned sheepishly. "You know what I call him??" Kiei asked with a mischievous look in his eyes. "What?" everyone asked and Shinn narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "ENERGIZER BUNNY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE JUST KEEPS GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING AND GOING!" Kiei blurted and laughed wildly.

Shinn turned a deeper red and started growling at him. "First of all a bunny isn't a beast, second of all he knows when to stop, unlike you." Hiei said and everyone was shocked for some reason. (What you didn't know Hiei was a little man-hoe? Where have you been!?)

"So, why you frontin' dawg?" (4) Kiei asked and Hiei got a gangster hat and some gold bling bling and said. "Yo homie, you best represent yo faults and admit I'm right before it gets bloody up in herr!" (5)

"Ohhhhhhhhhh MAN-HOE FIGHT!" I yell and everyone starts going "OHHHHHHHHH" and saying "boy-fight, man-fight, or man-hoe fight" while we once again got into the popcorn. 23 41 92 87 65 4098765328376382474 I.D Code 0967854212768433948 on the low-down of the beep &$#!() and then there was one but he was done and on the run but hun you know he ain't dumb.

Why did the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT! GET OVER IT! Skeletons have feelings to ya know! And so do doodles in your notebook! SO TREAT THEM NICE AND DON'T LITTER BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS TOO BOOTYFUL (6) FOR A BUNCH OF TRASH TO MAR ITS GRACE!

Thank you have a great day! RUBBER CHICKENS! "I LIKE PI AND THE PIECES FIT BECAUSE THEY CAN! CAN, CAN YOU DO THE CAN-CAN? I CAN DO THE CAN-CAN! CAN YOU DO THE CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN!?" The crowd is silent except crickets…..and then the flies arose from their slumber and took flight into the pitch darkness to destroy the alien ant farms that were taking over the corn cobs of the Marilyn Manson Field near Alabama's Alamo of the 48th century during the Civil War of Dogs versus Potatoes.

"Are we there yet?" "No." "Are we there yet?" "No." "Are we there _yet_?" "No." "So we're not there yet?" "No." "When are we going to be there yet?" "No." "Is that all you can say?" "No." "Then say something else!" "No." "There's a horse in the middle of the road." "No." "Why?" "No." "Why?" "No." "Why?" "No." "Why?" "No." "Are we there yet?" "No." "Why aren't we there yet?" "No." "Whose car is this?" "No." "Who's No?" "No." "Oh" "……" "HA!" "NO"……. "Are we there yet?" "Yes."

The Games Children Play

OOO squiggling………….OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh my oh! My oh oh! My oh my oh my oh! OH! Oh ok………

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**-Author's Note: HA! BEAT THAT! HOTWEELS! You know you cannot beat the craziness that is me, because I am a hole like Mudvane says in their song. So please review and tell em what you think, random ideas are always welcome because you can never be too random! Ok here are things you need to know if you don't know Ebonics/SLANG!**

"'**Ey man! What's yo problem dawg? Me and my homies are ova here tryin' to have some fun and buy some bling bling while you all up in this joint frontin'! Now I want some respect yo, or else I'll bust a gat in yo head, you got me?" _means:_ "Hey man! What is your problem? My friends and I are over here trying to have some fun and buy some cool accessories while you're over here trying to fight! Now I want some respect, ok, or else I will shoot you in your head, do you understand me?"**

"**Yea, what my home gurl said, you best get ta steppin'!" _means: _"Yes, what my friend said, you better go away now!"**

"**Uh huh, that's right, you get cho fat behinds up outta here, go eat another donut fat man! STOP RAPING LIL CHURIN!" _means: _"Yes, that is right, you should get your fat butts out of here, go eat another donut fat man! Stop raping little children!"**

"**So, why you frontin' dawg?" _means: _"So, why are you trying to fight me –friend-?"**

"**Yo homie, you best represent yo faults and admit I'm right before it gets bloody up in herr!" _means: _"Hey –friend-, you better represent your mistakes and admit that I am right before it gets bloody in here!"**

**And Bootyful means Beautiful, also Gimme means Give me, anything else you'll just have to message me about, let me remind you that this fan fiction is merely randomly insane writing that comes from the top of my head or inspired by the music I listen to while writing. If you can't handle it, too bad, don't complain to me! There's not supposed to be a plot, and it's not supposed to make since, it is merely for my enjoyment and to make people laugh, because everyone loves to laugh, even if they don't know what they're laughing at, that's why a lot of sarcasm consists of laughing…because people love to laugh…there…REVIEW!-**


	5. Chapter 5: Butlers Are Cool

**Chapter 5: Butlers Are Cool**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own YYH or GS/D, only Shinn, Kiei, and any other random people besides me, Tara, and Brandy…..and also my crazy randomness….duh………….I like dots (whispers)….**

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So Kiei and Hiei become best friends after having a really bloody man-hoe fight! YAY! Currently, Kurama-san is chasing me around the room because I finally made him lose in the game of poker, more YAY! Wait…I'm being chased by a fox demon…with a rose whip…is that a good thing?

"Uh, sure." Tara told me. "Oh, ok, YAY!" I say and then do a happy dance. "I wanna do a happy dance!" Shinn yells and started dancing with me again. "NINE INCH NAILS! THEY'RE AS BIG AS HIEI AND ALMOST AS BIG AS KIEI! WOO!" I scream randomly because a song by Nine Inch Nails is playing on my radio.

Yes, a lot of the things I write are influenced by the music that plays on my radio…I know weird huh?

"I just made you up, to hurt myself." Hiei tells someone from his past that caused him a lot of pain (duh) and they pout and walk away slowly.

"Hey guys, I just thought of something." Yusuke said and looked from Shinn to Hiei. "What?" everyone asks. "Shinn and Hiei look a lot alike, you know with the red eyes and black hair, I bet if Hiei cut his hair he'd look just like Shinn!" he said and Hiei sent him death glares.

"Ooooooo…" I say and grin evilly while pulling out some gigantic scissors. "Snip snip, Hiei, snip snip!" I say and come towards him with the evil grin. "Ohhhhh no you don't. You're not coming near my hair!" he yells and jumps on Youko, who grins and wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

"Yes, please leave my onii-san alone or else I'll have to freeze you alive, tack you to the wall, and throw my Hirusuki (sp?) gems at you." Yukina said ever so politely. Everyone turned and stared at her, blinking slowly.

……cricket, cricket…..cricket, cricket…..cricket, _smash!_...

"That was getting annoying." Genkai said after stepping on the cricket. "Genkai-san!" I yell and run towards her to give her a hug but she turns and slams the door in my face…literally, I slam into it and then slide down, then fall backwards looking dazed.

"…Ow…." I say. "Birdies!" I say and then start grabbing at the birdies that materialized in front of me but they all flew away squawking. "WAAAAA!!!" I start to cry and people glance at each other but then shrug.

"I'm looking at you through the glass…" the song begins and Shinn screams like a girl and glomps the radio. "Shinn….quit humping the radio….that's disgusting…" Kiei says with a grimace. "I'M NOT HUMPING THE RADIO! I LOVE THIS SONG!" Shinn screams and continues to –hug- the radio.

"Dude, even I wouldn't do that." I tell him and he stops and then, while pouting, trudges over to Kiei and sits down in front of him. "Hey, while you're down there…" Kiei said and then Keiko knocks him upside the head.

"Hey! What was that for!?" he yells as he whirls around to glower at her. "I'm sick of you perverted men (and women) always saying gross things and doing gross things! NOW STOP!" she screams at him and everyone stops what they're doing to stare at her. Kuwabara dropped a plate and it smashed to the ground.

"Tch, yeah right! He doesn't know what that means!" I say and laugh bitterly. "Yeah, he doesn't know how to stop, doesn't know what 'no' means, quit, or anything that means to not do something or to refrain from acting." Tara informed them while Kiei was getting angry and restraining himself from strangling us both.

Shinn's eyes widened and he scooted away form him as he grew black wings and black markings appeared on his arms and his eyes went completely black. Uh oh….did I mention that Kiei is Satan's Spawn??? Guess I forgot while being hyperactively random….

"EVERYONE RUN!!!!" I scream and everyone runs. Then Hiei stops and goes back because he's cool like that. "So, you're really Satan's Spawn?" he asks. "Yes." Kiei replies and leaves it at that while he tries to calm down.

"Yes, clam down, you know I love you Kiei-kun!!!!" I say appearing out of thin air and hugging him while he growls but then just gives up because I'm just so insanely cute!

"Yeah and I love you too!" Shinn said and hugged him. Hiei twitched. Kiei growled. Shinn and I hugged him. Tara came in and shook her head. Brandy appeared and slapped us all just because she felt like it. Yusuke and Kuwabara skipped in with beers sloshing everywhere singing "I fell pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay!" and Kurama soon joined them.

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"I cannot believe that all of this is happening! All because of one girl who was magically transported here by a Swirly Black Hole of DOOM!" Koenma huffed and puffed to Botan. "I know, but you've got to admit, it's pretty funny!" Botan said and giggled.

Koenma glared at her. "No it is not! I demand that you transport her back to her own world!" he commanded. She pouted and made huge puppy dog eyes. "But everyone loves her! She brought happiness and laughter back into our lives! We need it! WE NEED HER! SAVE THE TA-TAS!!!! Oops, you weren't supposed to hear that last part, eh heh." She said and sweat dropped.

Koenma raised a nonexistent eyebrow at her and then cleared his throat as if he didn't hear her. "Well, I'll give you a week; surely you can get her out of here in a week, along with all her crazy friends too." He said.

"Uh, well, actually," she stumbled with the words. "JUST DO TI!" he yelled at her. "BUT ONE OF THEM IS SATAN'S SPAWN!" she screamed. He jumped up, hit his head on the ceiling, making it fall down, and Botan screamed, "THE SKY IS FALLING!" and ran out of his office.

"GEORGE!!!!!!!" "COMING! Tch, not." George the Ogre said and went the opposite direction.

* * *

"My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like, 'it's better than yours' damn right, it's better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to charge!" Shinn sang and I joined in.

Kiei was calmed down now and eating pop-tarts with Shizuru while smoking and watching Edd, Ed, and Eddy. Kuwabara kept trying to watch it with them, but every time he crawled over to the TV they threw him into the other side of the wall and laughed, then high-fived, then went back to watching TV and eating pop-tarts. I like run on sentences….can't you tell?

"IF YOU WANT TO DESTROY MY SWEATER! PULL THIS THREAD AS I WALK AWAY! WATCH ME UNRAVEL, I'LL SOON BE NAKED! LYING ON THE FLOOR! I COME UNDONE!" Shinn yelled and then Youko, Karasu, the Toguro brothers, and Hiei all tried to rip Shinn's sweater and make him naked.

"EEEP!" he squeaked and ran and sat in Kiei's lap. "THE SKY IS FALLING THE SKY IS FALLING!" Botan screamed as she ran into the room. "Been there, done that." I say and continued learning how to play poker from Kurama who stopped chasing me to teach me so he can beat me and take all my money and belongings.

"Oh, ok, my throat hurts." Botan said and sat down on the couch. "I'll help you." Yukina said and healed Botan's throat. "NOOOO! SHE'S ANNOYING! I WAS GLAD THAT HER THROAT HURT!!! TRAITOR!!!" Hiei yelled. "Oh, I'm sorry." Yukina said and then bashed Yukina's throat with a fishing pole.

"IT'S GRRRRRREAT!" someone yelled, probably Kuwabaka. "I NEVER GET RESPECT! I HATE YOU ALL!" he screamed again and ran out crying like a baby.

"Sorry….NOT!" I yelled and continued beating Kurama at poker. Tsk, tsk, tsk, he shouldn't have taught me that game, now I'm stealing all his possessions. "YAY! CHAINSAW!"

"Chainsaw? Where!? I WANT A CHAINSAW!" Shinn screamed. Kiei slapped silver ductape over his mouth and continued watching TV. He growled at him and glared but then got over it because Life is too short and Hell is too hot. REMEMBER THAT QUOTE AND YOU JUST MIGHT LIVE PAST THIS CHAPTER!!! WAHAHA!!!!!

"PARDON ME WHILE I BURST! INTO FLAMES! SO PARDON ME WHILE I BURN! AND RISE ABOVE THE FLAME! PARDON ME! PARDON ME! I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME!" I sing, and then sing: "PAIN! WITHOUT LOVE! PAIN! CAN'T GET ENOUGH! PAIN! LACK THEROF! 'CAUSE I'D RATHER FEEL PAIN THEN NOTHING AT ALL!" et cetera.

I love music, as well as 3 Days Grace. And Papa Roach. And especially Linkin Park. And Evanescence……etc.!

"I like heavy metal." Hiei replied. "You mean the bands who scream and you can't understand what the freak they're saying? Or if they're even saying anything besides simply screaming because they hate their life or are just posers pretending to hate their life because that's the 'in thing' to do even though it's not really cool to hate your life because you have bad parents or messed up friends or anything else that happens in this crazy world so you cry and cut yourself when you're all alone and do drugs to fit in when really it's an escape from cruel reality and then you have sex with guys you barely know just to defy your parents or to also escape and end up pregnant, and sometimes young girls do abortion and are called sinners and evil but sometimes they decide to keep them, but because they're so young the babies either die, the girls die, or the babies are deformed or messed up and you don't know where to turn because your parents won't take you and the baby in and your friends have turned their backs on you because they really weren't your friends after all, and there's the guys who think they're thugs and shoot each other for who knows what it's stupid anyway and they think they're cool and listen to their rap that 'sings' about whores and gangsters and more hoes and doing things with hoes and pretending they're cool when really they're just sad inside and again to the emos who hate everything why hate everything when there's so many wonderful things here on this earth God loves everyone. Wow that was a long sentence." I say and everyone stares at me.

It takes everyone a few seconds to recover.

Then they start to clap. "That was beautiful!" Yusuke says with tears in his eyes as he claps. "Yes, you should be a motivational speaker!" Botan said. "You just had to go all out didn't you?" Tara asked. "Yes, and thank you, thank you very much." I say like Elvis and then wink at everyone.

Rubber duckies.

The Flintstones! Crimson Chin! Masked Fighter! Honolulu! Tokyo! KAWAII! Ok I'm done.

_Slap! _"I said I was done!" I yell at Hiei while rubbing my cheek because he slapped me. "I know, I just felt like slapping you." He said with a grin. I glare at him and then throw my headphones at him. Then he throws a megaphone at me. Then I throw a telephone at him, complete with an answering machine. Then he throws a cell phone at me, complete with a really loud cell phone talker guy.

"Ok, enough phones." I say and throw a Red engine truck at him. Then he threw it back at me but it was pink and green. "NOOOOO!" I scream. "Alright, if that's how it's gonna be, then take this!!" I yell and throw a fuzzy pink bunny…an evil, fuzzy pink bunny…wahaha.

"Thou shalt not defeat me! Huzzah!" he said and cut it with his katana. So then he became the shredder as I threw various things I didn't like at him and he cut them into a million pieces in a second. Soon Kurama joined us with his rose whip.

"OOOOO!!! Throw me! I wanna be cut up in a million pieces!!!" Shinn yelled and ran over to us. "No! Throw Yusuke!" Kieko yelled and pushed Yusuke forward. "Why?" I asked her. "Because he's been cheating on me with Botan!!!" she said and slapped him for the thousandth time that minute. "Oh, we all knew that, he's also been cheating on you with Kuwabara, disgusting I know, Kurama, Hiei-yes Yukina, Hiei don't even pretend you don't like him!-, and recently Shinn with a side of Kiei." I said matter-of-factly.

"AHHHH!!! THERE'S NO GOOD MAN LEFT IN THIS WORLD!" she screamed, tore her hair, and ran out screaming. A car honked and screeched. Woah man…de ja vu much? "Oh, and I forgot to mention that he took me out on a date, got drunk, and then tried to have sex with me." I say after thinking a moment.

There was an awkward silence and then Kiei picked up Yusuke, "Ok, let's cut him up." He said and Shinn clapped happily…but then he stopped…. "Wait, _I_ WANTED TO BE CUT UP! HEY!" he said as he saw Hiei start winding up his sword.

"Oh well this bastard tried to screw MY NIKI! THEREFORE HE MUST DIE!!" Kiei said and pulled back to throw him. "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! NIKI HELP ME!!!" Yusuke screamed so I tripped Kiei. "There you go." I said happily while Kiei glared at me. He and Hiei exchanged glances so then he picked me up while Hiei spun his sword faster.

"Ooops….my bad…" I say and then Kiei throws me. "WEEEEEE!!! I CAN FLY!!!"

_SPLAT! _

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**-Author's Note: I'll stop here because I feels like it! I know this wasn't as randomly delicious as the others, but I was low on caffeine…bleh, I just felt like updating this. Please review and tell me what you think! Also, how do you spell the name of the tear gems that Yukina cries??? Thank you and have a great day! Now back to your show: The Walrus Kingdom debates whether toilet paper should be sold to blondes or pineapples while listening to the funky techno stuff at Wal-Mart between Sonic and Hamburger in Paradise. The Musical!-**


	6. Chapter 6: Macho, Macho, Mayan!

**Chapter 6: Macho, Macho Mayan!**

**Disclaimer:**** I only own the OCs…my sanity has left the building…chika, chika!**

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"_WEEE! I CAN FLY!!!!" I yelled as Kiei flung me towards Hiei's spinning sword._

_SPLAT!_

"Or not…" I say as I lay there in a million pieces. "Hey Shinn, get your sexy tushka over here and put me back together!!! OOO I'M LIKE HUMPTY DUMPTY!!!!!" I scream ecstatically.

"No, _I'M_ Humpty Dumpty…" Shinn says and grins like a porn star because he is one.

Potato.

"No Shinn, you're the Energizer Bunny." Kiei reminded him.

"Oh yeah! 'Cause I just keep going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going!" etc. Shinn replies.

"Ugh! We'll put you back together Humpty Dumpty I mean Niki Diki Bo Biki Fe Fi Fo Fiki!" Tara says and she and Brandy start picking me up and putting me back together.

Shinn yawns and then lays down on Kiei, his head resting in Kiei's lap. "Your dick makes a great pillow K-Kun." He says.

"Yep!" I say, back to normal. "WAHAHAHA!!! CAN'T TOUCH THIS!!!" I say and start running around…..again…..ooooo Rice Krispies Treat….GIMME!!!!! I yell as I chase the Rice Krispies Treat that is being pulled away by a fishing pole in the hands of…Kuwabaka????...uh oh…..

"Uh, hi Kuwabaka I mean Kuwa_bara_." I say and smile uneasily. He has an evilly creepy expression on his fugly face….me no likey….

"I'm going to get you back for disrespecting me all the time! WAHAHAHA!!! TIME FOR REVENGE FROM THE YELLOW REVENGER!!!!" he yells and laughs like an idiot trying to laugh like an idiotic evil person from a cartoon in the late 70s. You know the creepy looking ones? Yeah, like that….

"Say what?" I ask. "I've renamed myself the Yellow Revenger! WAHAHA! FEAR ME AND MY AWSOME KITTY POWERS OF DOOM!!!" he says and tries to laugh again.

"ENOUGH WITH THE BAD EVIL-PERSON LAUGHING IT'S ANNOYING!!! And besides, the Yellow Revenger sounds like a dog that pees too much in the house, like my new puppy, his name is Jak, like Captain Jack Sparrow except without the c." I say.

"ARGHDNESS! SHUT UP AND FEEL THY WRATH!!!!" he shouts and…………

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kiei comes rushing to my rescue and decapitates Kuwabara who was actually demon-possessed (because I officially love you Kuwabara) and they find the real Kuwabara bound in a closet so they free him (don't ask who They are) and then carries me back to where everyone else is.

Shinn gasps and rushes over, as well as Tara and Brandy. "Niki are you okay?" they ask looking concerned. I'm shivering despite the heat and my eyes are wild and no coherent words make their way out of my mouth (not like it's new, but the kind where you can't even form a word much less a made-up one that makes no sense)

"Just leave her alone." Kiei growls while Yusuke is talking with the real Kuwabara.

"Oh yeah! Um, Koenma wants Niki and…uh, everyone not belonging to the Yu Yu Hakusho universe to leave within a week. That was the whole reason of me coming here." Botan said.

"Awww, I was having fun! NOOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO!!! CAN'T CATCH ME!!!!" I scream and start running around.

Botan sweat-drops and then sighs, hanging her head and slumping her shoulders (anime-style).

"Hey what happened to Azrael (1)?" Kiei asks her. "Oh, he retired a while ago. Didn't you know?" she asked as everyone was chasing me because somehow I became "It" in the game of Boob-Tag….

"No, I haven't spoken to any of Them in a while. I detest my father…" Kiei replied and glared at the ground beneath him…….until I tackle him, making Shinn fall as well, and we're all tangled up.

"YOU'RE IT!" I say and poke him in the chest next to his nipple. "WAHAHA!!!! NO TAG-BACKS!" I add and laugh like the crazy person I am.

He looks at me weirdly and then smirks and grabs Shinn's dick. "CROTCH-TAG! Shinn's it!" he yells. "No tag-backs." He says and sticks out his tongue. "Grrrrd. Oh well…..oh Hiiiieeeeiiii!!!!" Shinn says and starts chasing the fire youkai.

So I lay down on Kiei's chest who is still on the ground watching Shinn chase Hiei and everyone try to get out of his way.

"Uh, can you get up now?" he asks. "NO!" I reply and smile. "You're too comfyble!" I add.

"Ugh, you disgust me." Tara says. "Oh…sorry…." I say and she laughs…that is until Kuwabara touches her boob. "Ha! You're it! I GOT TO TOUCH TARA'S TA-TA!!!" he chants and then she kicks him in the nuts and I can't resist laughing like a psycho-maniac and Kiei has to shut me up before I get too out of control.

"Hey how'd Kuwabara get it??" I ask and look utterly mortified and disgusted. "YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!!!" he yells at me. "Oh, sorry, I love you Kuwa!!!" I say and smile.

"Do you love me enough to &$#!?" he asks and Kiei shoots up and starts strangling him.

"Uh, that'd be a no…." I say and Yusuke somehow gets Kuwa out of Kiei's death grip.

"You need to cool down Mister!" Shinn says and pours some ice cold water on him. "WAHAHA!!! THAT WAS GETTING YOU BACK FOR THROWING ME IN THAT FOUNTAIN AT THE MALL AND THEN STRIPPING ME AND MAKING ME WEAR THE THONG THAT I MADE YOU WEAR AS REVENGE FOR TRYING TO PUT A CHASTITY BELT ON ME!!!! SO HA!!!" he yells.

Kiei turns slowly, growling, and Shinn backs up slowly.

"Uh…I love you????" he asks and then Kiei sighs and dries himself off before standing next to Hiei and grumbling. Have you noticed something? Think hard, _real _hard, it has something to do with their names, ya know, Hiei, _K_iei…look familiar?? Yeah, thought so….oh yeah I'm smart….ness…..Ish…..

"I'ma sexy Ish!" Shinn says, jumping up and down while raising his hand. "Hey Shinn let's do our theme song!" I say and he nods enthusiastically.

"MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME!" I begin.

"IT'S O-S-C-A-R!" Shinn adds.

"MY BOLOGNA HAS A SECOND NAME!" I respond.

"IT'S M-A-Y-E-R!" Shinn retaliates.

"OH I LOVE TO EAT IT EVERY DAY!"

"AND IF YOU ASK ME WHY I'LL SAY!"

"'CAUSE OSCAR MAYER HAS A WAY WITH B-O-L-O-G-N-A!!!!" we both finish and everyone starts clapping so we bow.

"MY Potato…." I say and take the potato from Shinn. "No, MY Potato!" he says and grabs it back.

"Nyah! Mine!! You have Kiei's Anaconda you don't need a Potato!" I say and smack him with the potato.

"Ahhh, you're right, Come here boy, come on, come here boy!!! Come here doggy!!!" Shinn calls to Kiei and pats his knees. Kiei growls at him, showing his fangs…his SEXY fangs I might add….oooo yeahyeah….rawr…..

"Aha! I got it!" Kiei suddenly said and disappeared in a flash of sexy flames. Shinn tilts his head to the side in a confused gesture and then Kiei pops back up behind him and snaps a collar around his neck and a black leather leash.

"WAHAHA!!! Now you're my dog…officially…." He says and Shinn pouts.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" I'm pointing and laughing my tushka off so Tara joins me as well as Brandy and then Yusuke is howling and Kuwabara is snorting like a pig, Yukina is practicing her aim while throwing her tear gems at a dart board with a picture of George Bush (sorry buddy), while Kurama is talking with Shizuru and totally ignoring us because…..I dunno just because.

"Quit!" Shinn whines and buries his face in Kiei's shirt. "Make them stop!" he squeaks. "Why?" he asks. Shinn looks up at him all sad and stuff so Kiei sighs and then…..

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!" "AHHHH!!!" "THE SKY IS FALLING AGAIN!!!!" "FOR THE PRESERVATION OF OUR BLUE AND PURE WORLD!!!" a record screws up and I kick the person who made the last statement in the place where the sun don't shine because it can't reach down there.

"YAY!!!" Shinn says, clapping and smiling. "I swear you are some kind of demented." Kiei said and shook his head.

"What about me??" I ask. "We already know you're demented." He said and I mock-gasped. "THAT'S NOT NICE I'MA CHRISTIAN!!! JESUS ROCKS MY SOCKS!!!" I yell in his ear….but he had headphones on….grrrrd…..

"Ruff!" "Tweet! Tweet!" "Meow!"

"Stop making animal noises you demented little imp!" Yusuke yells at me and then throws the lamp at me…but I dodge! "Wahaha!!! Take that!" I say and throw a German Chocolate Cake at him…..hey guess what…I'm German….kinda…..

Just then Shinn gasps and looks at me. "Whatcha eatin'?" he asks suggestively. LIGHT BULB!!! Ahhhh, it's been so long my little Light Bulb friend….what are you lookin' at??? I'M HAVING A SPECIAL MOMENT WITH MR. LIGHT BULB OVER HERE!!!!

"Ahem! Whatcha eatin'!?" Shinn asks again and raises his eyebrows. "Chocolate." I finally reply. "Where'd ya get it?" he asked again. "Doggy dropped it." I answered. "Where'd he drop it?" he asked. "In the sewer." I said. "So whaddaya call it?" he asks. "DOG MANURE!" I yell and we laugh and fall on the floor laughing some more oh that rhymed!!! SMORES!

"Nice…" Hiei commented. "Ain't it though?" Tara said sarcastically. "Yo!" Yusuke calls for no apparent reason except 'cause he wanted to. "HOE!" I reply as usual. "Someone say my name?" Shinn and Jose both respond. I start laughing again because hey, that was funny.

"I'm getting bored now…ENTERTAIN ME!!' Kiei yelled so me and Shinn glanced at each other and then tackled each other and started fighting.

"He's mine!" I yell and claw at his face with my insanely long nails.

"No he's mine!" he yells back.

"Technically you're his!" I say again while we're rolling around in a…mud pit? Oh well who cares.

"Which makes him mine as well!" Shinn replies and flips me over, straddling me.

"Ha! Gotcha!" he said and smirked.

I use my legs to flip him back over and straddle him.

"Not anymore! I win!" I say.

"Nuh-uh! No one's counting!" he replied and pouted.

"Uhhh, who knows how to count to ten!?" I ask.

Just then Genkai is on the floor slamming her hand on the ground and shouting out numbers like, "One! Two! Three! Four!" and I think that means I'm winning.

"No!" Shinn squeals and then flips me back over. Genkai starts the count over.

"Daaa! I will not lose to you Shinn Asuka!" I yell and flip him over again. Genkai restarts the count…again.

By now everyone ahs gathered to watch and Kiei and Hiei are talking with each other while Hiei keeps glancing at Kurama…rawr…

"Oh forget it!" Genkai finally gave up after her fourteenth time recounting and so leaves.

"I win!" I say because I'm on top of Shinn.

"No you don't! She stopped counting and gave up! No one's won yet!" he replies and flips me over.

"Arghdness! Stop it!" I say.

"You stop it!" he yells.

We sit there for a while before I ask.

"So what are we doing?"

Everyone Sweatdrops and then falls down twitching.

Shinn shrugs so we get up ad walk off with our arms around each other's shoulders.

"Aw man…that was fun…" Kiei said and pouted.

"Alright, who gave him the sugar?" Tara asked and looked around.

Everyone shrugged and started looking away to see Yukina slinking out of the room with her hands behind her back.

"Yukina! You gave Kiei the sugar!" Tara yelled and pointed.

"So? I thought it would be fun to watch!" she said and pouted.

"It kinda is…" Hiei said and glanced at Kiei.

"What?" he asked as everyone was looking at him.

"BLUE 22! BLUE 22! HUT, HUT, HUT!" is the only warning they get before Shinn is thrown into the crowd and makes everyone fall down and I run in screeching like a banshee.

Ahhhh, insanity is bliss!

* * *

**-Author's Note: Funny right? Or was it just plain stupid? You can tell me, it's okay. Since it's winter time I can always put the flames in my fireplace! Now back to your regularly unusual broadcasting show: Robot chickens have taken over the world but are fighting for control with the squirrels and penguins!-**


	7. Chapter 7 Part 1: Born To ROCK!

Chapter 7: Born To ROCK

**Chapter 7 #2: Born To ROCK!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own any YYH peeps although I wish I did. The OCs, however, are MINE!! Nach-yo's, mine! Got it? Good.**

_Okay, this chappy will consist of a parody of volume 13 of the manga (which I bought, wahaha!)- basically, the part about the three humans Genkai used to capture Yusuke as a lesson, with the taboo and stuff, yeah. Well, we decided to put a little twist to it because we're crazy like that, so yeah. Different but still entertaining. I'll put the emoticons of the expressions in parenthesis after the sentences._

* * *

"_Blue 22! Blue 22! Hut! Hut! Hut!" is the only warning they get before Shinn is thrown into the crowd and makes everyone fall down and I run in screeching like a banshee._

"Ooo, I see birdies!" Shinn said and tried to catch the little yellow birdies floating over his head but they all flew away squawking and I screamed and jumped into Kiei's arms because they flew in my face and Botan started screaming the sky was falling again until Kurama shut her up and then…

Knock, knock, knock! Came a knocking upon the door. Who could it be? "Did someone call for a whore?" THAT RHYMED AHA!

"Who dat!?" I call and the door opens to reveal a bright shining light and within that light is…drum roll please…I said drum roll! Come on people! Beat your desks or if you have an actual drum set start drummin'!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! Oh…now I do…and I'm partly deaf because of it…nice…

Anyways, the door opens to reveal MY BEST FRIEND STEPHANY!! YAY STEPHANY!!

"Woot!" I say and glomp her. "'Bout time you showed up here! Everyone I would like you to meet Stephany, she's in another one of my Randomly Delicious stories (that's the name of the series)." I add.

"Sorry, it took a while to figure out the Swirly Black Hole of DOOM thing, but I finally got it." She replied.

"HOW COME EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT EXCEPT ME!!" I yell.

"Because it doesn't like you!" Kiei answered. I pout and he laughs maniacally…evil little freaker…

"Hey, do you wanna act out the parody thing we came up with?" Stephany asked.

"YES!" I say and some bleachers appear and everyone not acting in the scenes sits there while we set everything up.

"Okay, it starts where Kuwabara, Kurama, and Botan are looking for Hiei so they can go rescue Yusuke from those three humans! Uh, Kiei you can be the narrator guy…" I say while sitting in a director's chair with a megaphone and a funny looking hat…don't ask.

"Ready!? Set! ACTION!" I yell and then run over by the others.

Kiei raises an eyebrow but shrugs and ignores the script I shoved in his face. He clears his throat and says in an announcer-guy's voice: "Two girls join the group for their adventures, Niki and Stephany. They each have a Tiger's Eye necklace that protects them from all evil, but will it help them for this new challenge?" and then sits back in my director's chair while watching like the rest of the crew.

"So where's Hiei-kun?" I ask and look around.

"I'm not sure…" Kurama says and does a shifty-eyes move (A/N: Yeah they're all gonna be OOC, but wait…they already are! No problems then!). (.)

"Let's try all these cool gadgets!" Botan shouts and grins widely, flinging a bunch of stuff around out of her magically appearing suitcase. (D)

Stephany and I glance at each other nervously.

"Eh, Botan? Take a chill pill!" I say right when Botan exclaims, "I found it!" and she knocks me over when she jumps up.

"Ow! Grrr!" I growl and try to go after her but is restrained by Stephany and Kuwabara while she remains oblivious…

"What is it Botan?" Stephany asks when I've calmed down.

"The Whistle of DOOM!" she exclaims and holds the shiny whistle in the air.

"Don't you mean the Itako Whistle?" Kurama asks innocently.

Botan glares at him. (-.-)

"…never mind…"

"DOOOOM! Me like DOOM!" I yell.

"Oh boy, here we go…" Stephany says and sighs.

"BLOW THE WHISTLE!" I chant.

Kuwabara shrugs and joins: "BLOW THE WHISTLE!"

"OKAY!" Botan shouts and blows the whistle.

"DAAA! MY SEXY FOX EARS ARE _BLEEEDING_!" Kurama screams while Kuwabara has a confused expression on his face since he didn't hear it.

Hiei falls out of the tree behind them with a _plop!_

"Alright, who did it?" he asks darkly with his katana out.

"HIEI-KUN!" I scream and glomp him.

"Oof!" he manages to get out and is glomped.

Stephany has an odd expression as she says, "…Niki? ...uh, are you alright Hiei?" (O.o)

"NOOO!" Kurama yells and grabs Hiei. "MINE!" he yells again while glaring at me.

I sit down and cry. "Waaa!" (TT)

"Kurama. Put. Me. DOWN!" Hiei shouts and is quickly put down by a sheepish looking Kurama.

"So you were there the whole time!? WHY DIDN'T YOU COME DOWN SOONER!?" Kuwa exclaims angrily.

"I was sleeping, baka." Hiei coolly states.

"You mean I could have raped you?" Kurama asks with a sad face.

"KAWAII!" Stephany and I exclaim.

"…" Hiei eyes Kurama oddly and scoots away form him.

"Awkward!" Botan sings to break the ice.

"Uh, TO YUSUKE!" Kuwa exclaims and points in a random direction.

"It's the other way, Kuwabara…" Kurama says, back to normal.

"The six head to the rendezvous…" Kiei says as we walk towards the mansion.

"…is that window an eye?" I ask and tilt my head to the side, examining the other weird features of the contorted house until I fall over. "I'm okay." I say after I get back up quickly.

"It doesn't look safe…us MEN should go in." Kuwabara says and gets into his prideful stance as I grit my teeth.

Stephany, Botan, and I all yell, "NO! WOMEN RULE!" and run him over as we reach the door.

I come to a screeching stop as I read the sign posted on the door. "Don't say 'hot', why not? Ooo! I rhymed!" I exclaim as everyone face palms.

"Come on, I wanna get this over with so I can be naughty-I mean take care of some business…" Kurama says ands grins at Hiei who raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

"ONWARD!" I say, pointing at the door and we go inside.

"It's kinda humid and h—," Botan begins but Kurama puts his hand over her mouth.

"Shut up hoe, didn't you read the sign!? Jeez, it's like I'm the only smart one around here!" he said.

Kuwabara's eyes widen and he says, "Has anyone noticed that Kurama is acting weird?"

"Yes…kinda like Youko…" Stephany replies.

"FOX-MAN'S IN HEAT!" I scream and roll on the floor laughing.

Kurama's eyes widen and his face goes redder than a lobster but then he gets ticked and tries to attack me but is restrained. (O.O and ( )

"This is so perfect! But wait, I can't sing that song from Nelly! It's _your_ song Hiei!" I say with a huge mischievous smile. (A/N: Yeah my friend and I were listening to it and imagining Hiei's reaction to it…we're weird.)

"What song?" he asks with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes, what song? I'll serenade him at night while he's sitting on the window- I mean…uh…" Kurama says.

"Yeah I'm leaving now." Hiei says and goes to leave but Kuwa grabs him.

"Oh no you don't! We still need to rescue Yusuke!" He yells.

Meanwhile, Kaito is holding up signs while saying, "Yo! Over here!"

"LEMME SING MY SONG NOW! Well, Hiei's song." I yell.

"Hello! Evil Genius over here!" Kaito exclaimed.

"Uh, hi?" Stephany says, confused.

"YOU!" Kurama says loudly and accusingly while pointing at Kaito. "Hi."

Everyone falls over.

Kaito sweatdrops.

"Woah, who dat?" I ask.

"Some geek in my class." Kurama says and yawns.

"He's one of Yusuke's kidnappers! GET HIM!" Kuwabara yells but everyone just stands there looking at him like he's insane…

"Um, so, wazzup?" Botan asks after the odd silence.

"So I heard you won some tournament. Brains _and _brawn, you're the ideal package aren't you Kurama?' Kaito says, totally ignoring Botan, and wiggles his eyebrows at Kurama.

"Ew, the geek has the hots for fox-man! Back off, that's Hiei's man!" I say.

Hiei closes his eyes tightly while a vein pulses on his forehead. (#.)

Kurama glares at Kaito. (-.-)

"Anyway, mind showing me your super cool plant tricks?" Kaito asks like a hyper kid around his favorite Superhero.

"'Plant tricks'? Oh boy…there's gonna be blood." Stephany says.

I'm rolling on the floor laughing. "He said 'super cool'!"

"Dude! There's no time for that now! We have to rescue Yusuke!" Kuwa exclaims.

"Kuwa, chill! We know you wanna bang him but you'll just have to control your urges, like Kurama-san over there." I say and look over at Kurama who quickly puts his hand back behind his back and starts whistling.

I sweatdrop. "Or not…"

Hiei rolls his eyes and takes out his sword. "How about I just kill the human?" he says.

"Nope! No violence allowed. Wahaha! Can't touch this!" Kaito exclaims and does a weird little dance.

"Dude, no, just stop…" I say while shaking my head.

"I'll stop him!" Hiei says and attacks Kaito but his sword breaks against the shield that forms around the geek. He blinks. "Or not…I just got this thing fixed too!" he simmers.

"That's ok; I'll get you a new one." Kurama says with a hand on Hiei's shoulder.

"Fox, I can still cut your hand off…" Hiei growls and the hand is removed.

"Anyways! Words are the only weapons that can be used here. So HA!" Kaito says and starts laughing annoyingly.

"So if I tell you to die you'll just die?" I ask with an evil grin. Kiei nods approvingly from my chair…

"Uh, no." Kaito says but then gets an unsure expression on his face.

"Darn!" I exclaim and the others chuckle.

"Hiei, right? I heard you were a Sword-master, but here you're just another height-challenged punk!" Kaito says with a smug look.

"DIE!!" I yell and am restrained from ripping him to pieces.

"Dude, I'm so going to give you a permanent smile if you don't shut up!" Kurama growls. (1)

"Nice…" Stephany says with a sweatdrop. Her and Botan glance at each other and shrug.

"So what happens if I say 'hot'? Drop dead on the spot?" Hiei rhymed (literally that's what he says in the manga).

Kaito smirks evilly and says, "Well, it's like this," Hiei is frozen and his soul is taken by Kaito. "If you say the forbidden word, I GET TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!" he finishes in a demonic tone and starts laughing again.

"NO! I can't rape him and/or grope him now, CURSE YOU!" Kurama yells and sobs in a corner.

"My soul can't be taken! 'It's gettin' hot in here! But keep on all your clothes!' HA HA HA! I have foiled your stupid plan geek!" I yell and then start laughing the _real_ way.

"Jeez Niki, way to rub it in…" Stephany says and I put on a sheepish grin.

"I'm kinda bored now…" Kuwa says in a tired tone.

"So am I…" Botan says and sighs, leaning against the wall.

"Will you leave or fight, then?" Kaito asks.

"'Should I stay or should I go now?'" I sing and start to dance.

"SHUT UP!" Kurama screams at me.

"EEP! My bad…" I squeak and shut up. FEAR THE FOX!!

"How about we just leave Hiei?" Kuwa asks and Kurama gives him the evil eye.

"Or not…" Kuwa says and scoots away form him.

"Yes, I want to stare at Kurama's sexiness more." Kaito says and grins.

"Ewwww…" I say with a disgusted expression on my face.

Kurama shudders. "I feel so violated!" he says and hides in a corner.

"All the more reason we should leave Hiei behind and go find Yusuke!" Kuwabara says with his fist in the air.

"No way! We can't just leave him here!" Botan yells at him while Stephany, Kurama, and I all glare at him.

"Well it's his own fault he's stuck! He got all mad and said the forbidden word right to the guy's face!" Kuwa exclaimed.

"Yes I agree…jee Kuwabara; you're smarter than you look." Kaito says and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Shut up! Creep…" Kuwa replies.

"Are you coming or not?" asks some random dude at a weird-looking door.

"If you plan to continue, you'll have to get through him first. He has the key." Kaito says.

"Alright buddy, hand it over." Kuwa says as he stomps up to him.

"Yeah I don't feel like it, why don't you try to take it from me Kuwababy?" says the random dude (that's what he says in the manga but if you have a perverted mind you'd think he was coming on to poor Kuwa…).

"Fine I will!" Kuwa yells and goes to punch him but the same type of barrier comes up and protects the guy form his punch.

"Ouch!" Kuwa exclaims.

"Hehehe, you seem to forget that violence is forbidden here, ya need to _think_ for once." He says and pokes Kuwa in the head.

"Then I guess we have no choice but to follow his rules…and when I win I'll get my Hiei back and YOU SHALL PAY!!" Kurama says with a crazed look in his eyes.

"I think Fox-man's gone psycho." I whisper to Stephany.

"Yeah really…Since our souls can't be taken, why don't we just try to trick Kaito?" Stephany whispers back.

"Good idea." I say and we high-five.

As we think of ways to trick the stupid little geek the clock tics by…making me very irritated.

"Alright, I'ma go insane if someone doesn't think of something and quick!" Kuwa and I exclaim at the same time.

"Hmmm, I have an idea…" Kurama says and we gather around him.

"Really? What is it!?" Kuwa asks.

"We have to get Hiei's soul back first…" Kurama says with a determined look in his eyes.

"But why?" Kuwa whines since Hiei is always mean to him.

"BECAUSE I NEED HIM TO BE MY-,"

We interrupt this program because we seem to be having technical difficulties….

"Jeez Kurama…" Kuwa says and scoots back while Stephany and I are laughing and Botan is on the floor twitching.

Kurama's face is red but he clears his throat and composes himself, glancing at Hiei's still form.

"Wow…that was…interesting…" Kaito says with wide eyes. (O.O)

"Why don't we just talk? Kurama, what's this guy like, anyway?" Kuwa asks.

"He's really smart and quiet but I can sooo beaste him!" Kurama exclaims. (2)

"Yes well, I just _let_ you win." Kaito says.

"Nuh-uh! I'm smarter and you know it!" Kurama says.

Kaito grumbles to himself with his arms crossed.

"And why is it so…steamy in here, is it so we'll say the forbidden word?" Kuwa asks.

"It's 80 degrees with 80 humidity for my plants." Kaito says and grins at Kurama. Copy Cat…

"That's like in Florida! It feels good in here; I don't know what your problem is guys." I say while leaning back in my chair. I love the heat; I was born and raised in Florida while my birthday is in July.

Everyone turns to glare at me because none of them besides Kaito is sued to this type of heat.

"Well if you're thirsty there're drinks in the fridge." Kaito says.

"Why didn't you say something in the first place?! My throat is so dry!" I exclaim and run to the fridge.

"Wait! They're probably laced with poison or truth serum!" Kuwa says and I halt.

"Hey I didn't think of that, good job Kuwa!" I say.

"Yeah, you're really clever." Kaito says.

"Don't be so surprised! It's not like I'm stupid!" Kuwa says and we all fall over.

Botan comes over to me by the fridge. "Well since there's no poison or truth serum or anything else in here we might as well drink up!" she says and we open the fridge.

"Oh yeah Dr. Pepper!" I say and snatch it while laughing maniacally and drinking the whole thing in one gulp.

Everyone eyes me strangely but Botan shrugs. "There's all kinds in here, how about orange juice guys?" she asks.

"Sure." Kuwa says.

"Fine." Kurama says.

"Okay." Stephany says.

"MORE DR. PEPPER!" I scream while sitting on the ceiling…

"But I need it in two shots, with ice in a clear glass and a straw…please." Kuwa says.

"Would you like fries with that?" Botan asks.

All of a sudden, KUWABARA'S SOUL IS TAKEN!! DUN DUN DUN!!

"Wahaha! Two down! Take that!" Kaito exclaims.

"Hey! What was that about?" I ask.

"Yeah! Kuwabara didn't say 'hot'!" Botan yells but then smacks her hand over her mouth. "Oops…"

Kurama sighs and face-palms.

Then Botan's soul is taken! WHO WILL BE NEXT!? NOT ME!!

"Niki, just put down the Dr. Pepper…put it down…come off the ceiling…Niki…" Stephany tries to coax me down but I kinda like being on the ceiling, it makes me feel like a bat….

"See the thing is, if you say 'H', 'O', and 'T' in a row your soul will still be taken. Now that I didn't make up." Kaito explained.

"Not mine or Stephany's! How ya gonna steal our souls loser?" I say.

He twitches and grumbles to himself since he hasn't figured that out yet…

"Hey ya know, souls are kinda pretty, the girl's is especially pretty…and they're so fragile, I wonder what'll happen if I scratch one?" he asks innocently but secretly he's reveling in the faces we're all making.

"DON'T YOU DARE OR I'LL ANNOY YOU TO DEATH!" I screech.

"Yes, and if you do, that would violate _my_ taboo…harm a single soul and you'll die here and now….especially Hiei's…that one's mine." Kurama growled.

I and Stephany are in cheer-leading outfits waving pom-poms while shouting, "GO KURAMA! GO KURAMA!"

"Ouch! You sure are showing your true colors! Me likey…" Kaito says and grins.

"That's not all I'll show…creep…" Kurama growls again.

Stephany and I glance at each other…

Kurama moves his hand and we go to cover our poor eyes (planning on peeking though, hehehe) but instead of whipping out…uh…something…Kurama whips out……THE KEY!!

"Wahaha, my plants totally just pick-pocketed you! Ahhhh, I do that all the time, it's so fun!" Kurama says and starts laughing.

"Kurama you're so amazing!!" I say with tears.

"Well, he _was_ a thief…" Stephany says and shrugs.

"So can you change your taboo, since I obviously won't be tricked into saying it and these two can't have their souls taken?" Kurama asks.

"Yes, I was planning on taking this to the next level once we were alone...technically we're not but I'll just ignore those two." Kaito says.

"HEY! No one can ignore me!!" I yell and shake my fist.

"So if I get to pick the taboo I bet you'll say it within 26 minutes!" Kurama says.

Apparently some people can…

"Hmmm, sounds kinda fishy. What if I don't say the taboo?" Kaito asks.

"Then you can have my soul and these two will be left to win all the souls back…in short we're doomed (sorry Stephany but Niki will surely blow it)." Kurama says.

"HEY!" I steam. Stephany glances at me with a significant look and I shut up…we've gots a plan…hehehe…

"The point is, one of us will win, and if you don't say the word in the limited time you'll win by default. You've got the advantage here…" Kurama says.

"Hmm, okay then! Sounds fun!" Kaito says. "So what's the taboo?"

"One letter, and each minute another letter will be added to it.." Kurama states and smiles smugly.

"Huh?" Kaito asks and scratches his head.

"GO KURAMA! GO KURAMA!" we cheer in the background.

"We're gonna basically state the alphabet backwards until we can't say anything at all…got it?" Kurama asks.

"Ohhhhhh, ok." The other replies.

He switches the sign on the door and then they begin!

"Zebras, zipping, Zoro…aren't you gonna use 'Z' as much as you can?" Kaito asks.

"Not really." Kurama says.

"'Z' is my favorite letter!" I exclaim.

Z is crossed off the list they have on the desk.

"Ha! 'Y' is next, we should say it a lot, that would be fun, won't it?" Kaito asks.

"You are overly chatty today, but oh well. There, happy now?" Kurama asks and smirks.

"Why?" I ask Stephany.

"Huh?" she asks.

"Why?" I ask again. She giggles.

Y is crossed off the list.

"Why?" she asks in turn.

"Why?" I ask again and grin evilly. She nods and glances at Kaito.

"Hey Kaito! Why are you so ugly!?" I ask and start laughing (notice I used a lot of 'Y's even though it's been crossed off and out souls aren't taken.)

He twitches but ignores us.

And so it goes on, 'X' and 'W' are crossed off.

"It's interesting that talk is still possible while these letters are missing." Kaito says.

"And it's about to get trickier." Kurama replies.

'V', 'U', and 'T' are crossed off.

"I am, I see, less glib." Kaito says…whatever that means…

"As am I." Kurama replies and I get really bored.

"Hey Stephany…why is Kaito so annoying?" I ask her.

"I'm not sure…maybe he was just born that way…or maybe people picked on him at school." She says.

He twitches again and I go up behind him and poke him in the head.

"Why are you annoying and ugly, Kaito?" I ask.

Kurama tries not to laugh.

"Go…" he says.

"No." I reply and poke him again.

He gets up. "I need a break." He says. "No speaking." He says to the random guy at the door.

He nods.

Kaito goes into the bathroom and starts wondering what Kurama's plan is until he realizes that they won't be able to utter a sound and then Kurama will make his move!

He storms out to see the door guy unconscious and wonders if Kurama left but realized that he couldn't have because he ahs the second key and the third is hidden (the hall has three doors).

He turned to see that he was basically in a forest and we were naught to be found…wahaha…scare time…

He stumbles through the plants to see that the souls are still there…but where's Kurama?

Giggling is heard and he whips around, but the sounds seem to be coming from everywhere…

More and more letters are being crossed off…we're still hiding, waiting…more giggles are heard, this time louder, maniacal laughter…

"I'm going to get you…" I whisper eerily from somewhere behind him.

"You should have found out how to steal our souls…now you're doomed…" Stephany says from in front of him.

'_Surrounded…they've got me surrounded!' _he thinks and then starts to panic.

'_Wait, there're only a few minutes left, I can be quiet until then…' _he thinks but is still freaked out.

Above him, Kurama slowly starts t hang upside down, right behind Kaito, until…

"A!!" he yells and Kaito jumps up and tries to hold the sound of surprise in.

"BOO!" I yell and jump down in front of him and he slaps a hand over his mouth.

"HIYA!" Stephany shouts and jumps down to the side of him. He breathes heavily but manages to hold in the exclamation.

That is, until he turns around to see Kurama hanging upside down…

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Aw crap!" he laughs and then is frozen while his own soul is taken and Hiei, Kuwabara, and Botan are released.

"Nice one Fox-man!" I say and high-five him.

"Kurama!" the three exclaim.

"Hi, how are ya." He says like Al from Sahara and I squeal because I _love_ Al…

"Heh, looks like he laughed and got his soul taken…how'd you do it Kurama?" Kuwa asks.

"Not telling." Kurama says with a sly grin.

After they found the second key and tried the doors they couldn't find the third key and so went back to the guy guarding the first door.

"Hey, where's the third key? We saw a sign that said, 'Open without Yanagisawa's permission and Urameshi dies'." Kurama says, holding up the sign.

"It's buried under the tree outside." Yana-whatever says.

"The six continued into the house." Kiei says and yawns boredly.

"Dude! First this guy has three doors, then seven stairways!? What the crap!?" Kuwa exclaims after they open the third door.

"Urameshi's on the second floor, but which stairway will lead there?" Yana asks sarcastically.

"I bet only one will…'cause I'm smart like that." Kurama says next to Hiei…

"Maybe they all do…or none at all! Does this place have an elevator?" I say and look around.

"It doesn't matter, you still have to choose." Yana says.

"Wait a second!" Botan exclaims. "I have really cool gadgets! How about we put these stickers on, that way we'll know if one of us is hurt or not!" she says.

"Fine with me." Yana replies and so we all put stickers on ourselves. I have one on each cheek, one on my forehead, and the rest in random places.

Everyone sweatdrops. "The point is to know how your friends are doing…not to look weird…" Botan mumbles.

"I can see them fine! I have the ability to use other things to see through, even a wall. See, we're all blue." I say as my eyes go completely white and I look at myself from the wall's perspective.

"Okay then…" they reply.

We all stand in front of the stairway we'll take and then ascend. Yana takes out a walky-talky.

"They're coming up, you ready?"

And as I predicted, all the stairways led to the second floor.

"Ha! I was right and you were wrong!" I say and stick out my tongue at Kurama and then do my victory dance.

"Yusuke!" Everyone else exclaims as they see him standing in front of some guy who's stepping on his shadow.

"Guys! Hey, who are the chicks?" he asks.

"Niki here! Nice to meet ya!" I say and grin.

"My name is Stephany." Stephany replies.

"Wait, you're just standing there? We thought you'd been captured!" Kuwabara yells.

"I have been you baka! This guy can freeze you if he steps on your shadow." Yusuke replies.

"Yep, but there's something else I didn't mention…" the guy says.

"What!?" we all shout.

"One of your friends is a fake." He says.

"What!?" we exclaim again.

"And you have ten minutes to figure out which one it is, Yusuke, but they can't speak unless you ask them a question." He says.

"Are you on crack? No one's fake here!" Kuwa yells.

"Yeah, who could put on a disguise that quickly?" Botan says.

"Hey, you heard the rules; don't you care what happens to your friend? Because if one of you is fake, that means the real one is with a colleague of mine who might not like any attacks to me." He says.

"Ugh! You people are even more annoying than me!" I exclaim and sit down.

"This is gonna be a _long_ ten minutes." Stephany says and sighs, sitting down next to me.

"Nine minutes now, are you in or out?" the guy asks.

"They all look real to me, how can one of 'em be fake?" Yusuke asks.

"Eight minutes, 30 seconds." The guy replies.

"Uh, Kuwabara! What's your birthday and blood type!?" Yusuke asks.

"I never even told you!" Kuwa replies.

I glance at Stephany who meets my eye.

"Oh yeah…" Yusuke replies.

"Think of something else!" Kuwa replies.

"Okay! Uh, what about your sister?" Yusuke says.

"Shizuru. She's 18 and is way tougher than me." Kuwa replies.

"Kurama! What's your mom's name?" Yusuke turns to the fox.

"Shiori Minamino, 40 years old and getting remarried this fall!" Kurama replies.

"Really?! Cool! Invite me to the wedding!" Yusuke replies.

"Me too!" I say and raise my hand.

"Uh, I would like to go as well…" Stephany says and Kurama nods to us.

"Seven minutes."

"Botan! What do you measure?!" Yusuke asks with a sick grin.

"What kind of question is that!? I've never told you that!" She exclaims and looks ready to slap him.

"Sicko." I mumble.

"But I remember!" he replies.

"Huh? No you don't!" she replies, looking embarrassed.

"Darn, you didn't fall for it!" Yusuke says.

"This is going nowhere…you're an idiot Urameshi…" Hiei replies.

"A sick idiot…" I agree.

Stephany sweatdrops. "Niki, what if he thinks one of us are the fakes? He doesn't know us." She says.

"Oh you're right…hmmmmm…." I say and try to think.

"Fine then, Hiei, be that way. Who's your sister?" Yusuke asks.

He just stares at Yusuke with a "You've got to be kidding me." look.

"I don't need to tell you that because you know who she is." Hiei replies as usual with his less-than-helpful self…please don't hurt me….

'_He's right! I'm getting nowhere since the real Hiei would say just that!' _Yusuke thinks.

"Wait, Hiei has a sister!? She must be ugly and horrifying!" Kuwa exclaims and I start laughing my butt off since he's talking about Yukina and doesn't even know it.

"You are soooo dead Orange-head…." Hiei says with a glare.

"He wasn't supposed to know…" Botan says and Kurama puts finger to his lips.

"I told you to shut up about that hoe! Of course he's not supposed to know!" Kurama says. Wow, people like to rhyme today…O.o

"I wasn't? Why should I even care?" Kuwa asks.

I continue to laugh and Stephany joins in by now.

"And what are you two laughing about!?" he yells and turns on us.

"You're such a baka….hahaha…." I say while laughing and rolling on the floor.

"Uh…" Kurama says and looks to Hiei.

"Don't look at me! Seriously…it creeps me out…STOP IT!! YOU'RE STARING INTO MY SOUL!!" Hiei yells and Kurama starts laughing.

"Five minutes."

"I'll just tell you late Kuwa." Kurama says after he's recovered.

"You better! And come on Urameshi, make a guess already!" Kuwa yells.

"I can't just guess! The stakes are too high you baka!" he replies angrily.

"Well it ain't me…maybe it's Stephany…" I say and look at her suspiciously. She sighs and does a face-palm.

"You idiot, we already know what's going to happen, remember?" she whispers to me.

"Oh yeah…never mind then…" I say and look at her sheepishly while she shakes her head.

"Four minutes, 30 seconds."

Kuwa starts pointing at the stickers they're all wearing.

"What are those?" Yusuke asks.

"Underworld tracking stickers! You're supposed to know them!" Botan exclaims.

"Oh yeah! Can't they only be removed by whoever puts it on?" Yusuke asks.

"Some Detective you are." Botan grumbles but then says more loudly, "Yep, it's because of their 'Aura print' and you can't fake that!" Botan replies.

"Then that's how I can find out whoever's fake!" Yusuke exclaims.

Everyone takes off their stickers…so much for that…

"Hey! You all did it!" Yusuke says.

"Then it's a bluff." Hiei replies.

"Nope." I say and sigh. "So…bored…"

"She's right, one of you isn't the real you." The guy replies. _'It's actually Yanagisawa; he can copy anyone from their appearance and personality to their aura print.' _He thinks smugly.

"But if you really can't tell, we might as well do away with the real one, eh? I'm sure you won't mind." He adds.

"No way!" Yusuke replies.

Kurama glances at Hiei who glances back. Kurama smirks and moves his hand and Hiei takes out his sword. "Touch me and you die…I'm not in the mood…" he growls and Kurama backs away with a sheepish expression.

"Time's up. Choose. I'll step off your shadow but don't you dare attack me. You have to punch whoever you choose as hard as you can because only great pain will uncover the fake."

"But I don't get it, why are you guys doing this anyway? For kicks and giggles?" Yusuke asks.

"It's not for ourselves, even though it's been pretty fun. But enough, just choose already, or your friend will suffer!"

"In that case, fine, I will." Yusuke says and gets ready.

"I choose you! Pikachu! Just kidding…." Yusuke says and punches Kuwabara…or is it? He goes through a transformation and turns into Yana.

"Awww, do it again! Do it again!" I chant.

"Well done, but how's you know?" the guy replies, ignoring me. I scowl and then creep up behind him.

"He was the biggest target, plus I owed the real Kuwabara anyway. Besides, I had to figure that, unlike me, Kurama and Hiei wouldn't let themselves get captured by mere humans, no matter what, so it was between Botan and Kuwabara, but if you captured her and mistreated her, it wouldn't be a contest but a war. So it was down to Kuwabara." Yusuke reasons.

"Are we invisible? He totally ignored us through that whole thing…" I say to Stephany.

"Oh, and I didn't know you two so I didn't think you counted, sorry…" Yusuke says and turns to me with a sheepish look.

"Oh it's okay…I understand…although we coulda helped you out since we already knew what would happen…" I mumble.

"I'm impressed."

"Good for you, now release Kuwabara!" Yusuke says.

"I knew it was him the whole time." Kurama whispers to Hiei.

"Yeah me too….Fox I see your hand, will you cut it out!?" he growls.

"I can't help it! I missed you." Kurama says and pouts.

Hiei rolls his eyes.

"Sure, but first I'll show you the mastermind to this whole ordeal." The guy replies and the door behind him starts opening.

"Who could it be?"

"Oh my!"

It's Genkai!!

"Genkai!" I squeal and grin widely.

"You put us through this!? Why?" Yusuke asks. "Glad you're back by the way." He mumbles.

"Well!?" everyone except Stephany and me asks while she just stands there.

All of a sudden the guy falls to the ground in a bow. "I'm so sorry!" he says.

"Eh?" I ask and glance at Stephany.

"We were asked to do this, it wasn't personal! Sorry!" he says again.

"Yep, it was all my idea. Wahaha!" Genkai replies.

"Your idea!? What were you trying to do, drive me nuts!?" Yusuke exclaims.

"Yeah, that was a nasty little trick Genkai, although at least I got to spend a little time with Hiei…" Kurama says and Hiei glares at him.

"Kurama! You knew what was going on the whole time!?" Yusuke yells and turns on him.

"Well duh! I'M THE SMART ONE! HELLO!" he yells and shakes his head.

"Then tell me 'cause I'm one of the dumb ones!" Yusuke yells back while everyone else sweatdrops.

"So how's Spirit World now-a-days?" I ask Genkai.

She shrugs. "It's okay I guess. Koenma's even more annoying at his home. I'm just glad I'm back." She replies.

"Did he tell you of our mission here?" Stephany asks her.

"Yeah, glad to have you guys on board." She replies.

"It was just Genkai's twisted way of saying hello." Kurama says to Yusuke.

"Basically, yeah. These boys have abilities I wanted you to experience. As well as these two girls, who are going to help you on your next mission." Genkai explains.

We beam at them.

"I figured it out after we got into it, because I realized that they weren't playing for keeps. And then I figured out it was training and there was only one person evil enough to drive us insane like that." Kurama also explained.

Genkai beamed.

"But that still doesn't tell us why, just how. What was this supposed to prove?" Hiei asks.

"There aren't many humans strong enough to defeat you four, but toughness isn't everything, you know. Creativity is often more dangerous than sheer strength, which Niki and Stephany can prove if you pay attention to them close enough." She says and they all glance at us because we have Kaito frozen again, Yana unconscious, and the other guy frozen while stepping on his shadow. I grin and wave at them.

Stephany smiles while holding Kaito's soul.

"Hiei, in a fist-fight you could have beaten the crap out of Kaito, but when it comes to wits he was the victor." Genkai continues.

Hiei scowls and says nothing.

"And Yusuke," Genkai begins.

"If I knew what he could do I wouldn't have gotten caught!" he says.

"Baka! Enemies don't just tell you all their strengths and weaknesses! It was your own fault!" Genkai yelled at him.

"Either way, you said this wasn't just for kicks and giggles, so apparently we have a new mission, especially with these two girls here." Yusuke replies calmly.

"These three humans came to me about their abilities and I told them about you, and also that they got their powers from a portal to the demon plane." Genkai explains.

"A PORTAL!?" Botan exclaims.

"Yeah, part of Sakyo's little scheme…slimy little scumbag…I don't care how sexy he was…" Genkai grumbled and I giggled.

"Apparently someone in the human world has continued his plans." She added.

"Yeah, Genkai told me about it too. Someone's trying to create a gateway to the demon plane!" Kuwabara said as he came out of the door Genkai came out of.

"Why aren't you wearing clothes?" Yusuke asks.

Kuwa blushes and then steals his clothes back from Yana.

"But wait, who would be trying to do that?" Botan asks, blocking out Kuwa the best she can.

"Apparently one of Sakyo's aides or another survivor." Genkai says.

"But if that could be done, I'd be outta here by now…away from these baka ningens…" Hiei replies.

"I'd go with Hiei." Kurama says quickly.

"If you wanna know, then let's go see it." Genkai says.

"Finally! Took you guys long enough!" I say.

Just then there was a beep from Botan's suitcase and she opened it to reveal Koenma.

"We have an emergency!"

* * *

**-Author's Note: Yeah this is really long so I'll just leave it here for now okay?**

**A "Permanent Smile" is when you slit someone's throat from ear to ear, making it look like they're smiling.**

"**Beaste" is a term my friends use and possibly some of you guys to mean to beat someone, basically, or to win.**

**Please review and tell me what you think! Also, be sure to check out my other YYH story: Daughters of Darkness! I just updated the other day! Peace out ya'll!-**


	8. Chapter 7 Part 2: Bowchikawowwow!

**Chapter 7 #2: Bow-chika-wow-wow!**

**Disclaimer:**** I only own the OCs!!! (Unfortunately) Thanks to ****Arigatomina**** for letting me use Biula!**

_Okay, for some odd reason I managed to accidentally write two chapter 7s, so this will be kinda like Part 2, and the other will be Part 1 I guess 'cause I posted the wrong one first…yeah…on with the ficcy!_

* * *

"_BLUE 22! BLUE 22! HUT, HUT, HUT!" is the only warning they get before Shinn is thrown into the crowd and makes everyone fall down and I run in screeching like a banshee._

"TOUCHDOWN!!!" I yell, fist in the air.

"Tomato!" Shinn yells, mimicking me.

"No, it's POTATO!" I yell again.

"SALAD CHEESE AND RICE WITH ONIONS!" he screams. Everyone looks at him oddly and then Kiei slaps him. "Bad dog! Sit!" he commands and Shinn falls down on his butt. "Ow."

"Hey he's like Inuyasha!" I say.

Monkey butt!

"So, this is the little troublemaker?" I hear a voice say.

I turn to see Koenma, the Toddler Prince standing there, sucking on a pacifier and staring at me.

"Awww, it's a cute wittle baby!!" I squeal and the YYH crew sweatdrops.

"SO WHAT IF I'M A BABY I'M STILL PRINCE!!" he yells.

"Wow, he has a bigger temper tantrum than me!" I exclaim.

"Er, Niki, this is Prince Koenma. You should really respect him or something bad might happen." Botan tells me.

"Yeah, you don't like being underestimated, right?" Kiei says.

"STOP LECTURING ME!!!" I scream at him for no apparent reason.

"STOP SCREAMING!" Koenma yells.

"NO!" I yell back.

Yusuke and Kuwabara both have their hands over their ears. "It hurts! Make it stop!" Yusuke whines.

"NEVA!!! WAHAHA!!!" Shinn yells and starts tickling them.

"EVERYONE BE QUIET I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!" Koenma bursts and surprisingly it gets quiet.

"Now, I've figured out how to work this... 'Swirly Black Hole of DOOM', as you call it, so you can go back home." He says.

"Awww." Tara and Brandy pout, as well as Shinn. Kiei is indifferent as always.

"NEVA!! RUN, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN!!!" I yell and run away.

"Yeah! You can't make us go back!" Tara says and runs as well.

"PENGUINS RULE!" Brandy shrieks and runs in the opposite direction…then turns and runs in the direction we ran in.

Shinn looks like he's about to make a mad dash but Kiei grabs him and asks, "Is there a problem?"

"Yes, actually. If any demons gain access to that portal we'll all be doomed, and if any human finds out about this there will be a huge mess to clean up. It's best if we just keep this to ourselves and transport everyone else back to where they belong, their memories erased, as well." Koenma replies.

"NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Shinn squeals and struggles against Kiei.

"I kinda liked having them around, it was fun and entertaining!" Keiko says.

"Yeah, and even though she's insane we still wanna keep her. She can be me and Keiko's adopted daughter!" Yusuke announced.

"No, she's _my _daughter, as well as Tara." Hiei said (Daughters of Darkness plug).

"I realize and understand the dangers, Koenma, but I agree with the others and quite enjoy Niki and her friends' company." Kurama says. THANK YOU FOX-MAN!!!

"Dowww." Koenma says as he gets mad and scrunches his face up.

"THE SKY IS FALLING AGAIN!!" Botan screams and flies away.

"Holy crap I think he's gonna explode!" Yusuke yells and everyone runs away.

Hiei and Kurama run off into the woods when all of a sudden…

…an ugly demon with huge fangs comes out of the bushes!!

"I didn't call you, Hiei, you're still no match for me!" the demon roars.

"Who is this fool?" Kurama asks.

"Uhhhh, no one keep running!!!" Hiei says and makes a mad dash away from the other demon.

Unfortunately, the other demon was too fast for Hiei (that's right I said too fast, GASP!) and caught him by the throat. Kurama gasped and then went Youko.

"NO TOUCHING MY MATE! RAWR!" he yelled and attacked the other demon (whose name is Biula by the way) but Biula flung him aside and knocked Youko unconscious.

"Buwahaha! Now I have you all to myself!" Biula said to Hiei.

He was about to rip Hiei's arm off when…

..Dun dun na dun! Niki to the rescue!!

"Hey ugly!" I call and Biula looks at me. "Do you like toast!?"

"What?" he asks.

I pull out a laptop, go on YouTube, and find the Yeah Toast! song, then set it before him and press play. (1)

He drops Hiei and stares at the screen while we make a getaway, snickering the whole way. (Yay snickers! Hey, did I just rhyme?)

"That was close! Now where did everyone go?" I ask and look around.

"I dunno, but I'll see you later." Hiei replies and drags Kurama off somewhere.

"Okay then…not gonna ask…"

"Niki! Where were you!?" Tara shouts as she comes up to me.

"Rescuing Hiei and Kurama from a big ugly demon, why?" I ask and tilt my head to the side.

"Just wondering." She said and shrugged.

We stood there for awhile not talking until…

"You're a homo!" I point while yelling and then run away laughing like a maniac…which I am…if you haven't noticed by now.

While I'm running while laughing with my eyes closed (dunno why, just am) I bump into something.

"There you are! You're coming with me young lady!" Koenma says and tries to grab me.

"Homo!" I scream and run away again.

I end up running through the streets of Tokyo (or wherever it is Yu Yu Hakusho is based in) and everyone I pass I yell homo at.

I manage to stumble upon Yusuke and Kuwabara…who quickly turn and put their hands in their pockets when they notice I'm there…hmmmmm…..wonder if they have any quarters…

"You're both homos!" I say cheerily and smile wide.

"What!? N-No we're not! W-Who told you that!?" they both replied and looked at each other with frightened expressions.

"Uhhhh, my science teacher? Isn't that where you learn about chemicals and gravity and people and animals and lawn chairs?" I ask.

They look quizzically at me and shrug. "I never pay attention in any class I'm in, so I wouldn't know." Yusuke says.

"What's 'chemicals'?" Kuwabara asks.

I sweat drop and continue smiling. "Never mind, I should continue running now…although I forgot why I was running in the first place. Oh well!" I say and start running again.

I pass more people on my way…wherever I'm going…and continue calling them all homos.

Finally I stop and look around to see I'm back where I started…I think…was I just running in circles?

"Yes, yes you were." Kiei says from behind me.

"Ahhhh!" I scream and then calm myself.

"You scared me, homo!" I yell at him and growl.

He smiles. "Good. Glad I still got it."

I fall over and twitch, so he picks up a stick and starts poking me with it…

"Stop poking me there!" I shriek then start running again. I hear him laugh and goose bumps appear on my arms.

"Ah! Geese are attacking me!" I scream as the geese on my arms start attacking me. I flail about enough to get them off then stop and try to stop the world from going topsy turvy curvy wurvy.

I see Kurama standing in front of me, with Hiei beside him giving me the one-eyebrow-what-are-you-doing-here-and-why-were-geese-just-attacking-your-arm-you-should-leave-so-me-and-Kurama-can-get-back-to-business-Imean-talking-'cause-that's-totally-what-we-were-just-doing-before-you-showed-up-not-anything-else-I-promise-but-really-what-are-you-doing-here-and-why-are-you-looking-at-me-and-Kurama-like-that-with-a-crazy-expression-oh-wait-that's-normal-nevermind-look.

"You're a homo!" I say cheerily and point at Kurama while smiling.

He looks surprised and glances at Hiei. "How did you know? Is it my girly long pink hair or my form-fitting clothing or the fact that I'm not as brutal and manly as Yusuke and Kuwabara or the fact that me and Hiei spend a lot of alone time together or-," he begins but I cut him off because Hiei is giving me another look.

"Homo sapien…I figured you'd get it…'cause you're smart and stuff…guess not…" I say while sweat dropping. (2)

He blushes and laughs weirdly, "Oh yeah, that's what I was talking about, eh heh…yeah."

"I'll just leave you two alone now…" I say and side-step away.

* * *

**-Author's Note: I feel like stopping here…but spoilers for next chappy (maybe if I remember) will be me and Tara acting as the hyper (and girl) versions of Kurama and Hiei, may add a few more twins if I can find people. Now back to: Jolly Ranchers and the Popcorn Cows fight to the death to see who has the biggest balls of them all!**

**(1) ****.com/watch?v=avU5onrWfYo**** here's the link for the video…kind of like the waffle song…except not…(if you can't get it to work just type in Team Fortress 2- Yeah Toast! into Youtube)**

**(2) Homo sapien is the scientific name for humans. Want the entire classification? Too bad you're getting it anyway!**

**Kingdom: Animalia**

**Phylum: Chordata**

**Class: Mammal**

**Order: Primate**

**Family: Hominid**

**Genus: Homo**

**Species: sapien**

**Thanks Riddlin!-**


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